This is from last year, another one that has been hanging around my inbox:
The imaginary ink has barely dried on the last complaint and now you have given me cause to write to you again.
You do waste enough of my time as it is, without then having to write to complain about your journey refund decision.
Last Wednesday I arrived at Harrow-On-The-Hill station around 8:15am. I got onto the waiting fast train. It hissed at me – like my imaginary girlfriend does when I use up too much of her imaginary ink. It hissed some more. Then the driver announced that the train was defective and we should all disembark.
I hissed at the train.
Cue a whole packed train full of people trying to get onto the next trains that arrived at Harrow-On-The-Hill.
The first two I couldn’t get on. The next one was a slow train to Aldgate, and I was advised that a fast train was just behind, so I waited for the fast train.
I got onto the fast train. It turned into a slow train. It didn’t go anywhere for a few minutes. And then was a slow slow train.
I arrived 30 minutes late to work. My colleagues hissed at me.
And now I am hissing at you. For I do not understand why on earth you are rejecting my service delay refund. I was delayed 30 minutes due to your defective train and subsequent overcrowding.
If you are not willing to refund this journey, please advise how I can escalate this matter.
James ‘The Snake’ Winfield
Dear Mr Winfield
Thanks for your feedback form about the Metropolitan line service performance on 24 January.
I’m extremely sorry to read about the service performance of the train which caused you to be late for work.
As a commuter myself, I can appreciate the frustration and inconvenience caused especially as you rely on the service to travel and punctuality is of essence.
We try our best to run all of our trains to schedule. However, on a network with services as frequent as ours even small delays can cause further disruption to customers down the line.
Having said this, your satisfaction is our utmost concern. Also we want our customers to have a good experience with their journeys on the Underground.
I’ll be happy to process your refund of £4.70 directly into your bank account. If you’re happy with this option, please respond to this email, and let us know a convenient time to call you. When we call you, we’ll ask you for your sort code and bank account number. Once we’ve processed the payment, your refund will take up to five working days to be added to your balance.
I can only apologise again for the inconvenience caused.
Thanks again for contacting us. If there is anything else we can help you with, please reply to this email. Alternatively, you can call us on 0343 222 1234 and we’ll be happy to help you.