I Have Joined A Gym

Yes, you read correctly.

I have joined a gym.

I figured that as I am nearly 40, exceptionally unattractive to women and still absolutely desperate to have multiple children – preferably to different women but the same one will do I guess, I should really do some critical analysis of why this is.

The question that I have been asking all year to myself after 1000’s of unreciprocated right-swipes is why am I not attractive to women.  I mean, I have a mullet, after all.  And don’t forget the shiny green meggings.

So I changed my gender on Tinder to female, and started looking through men’s profiles.  And realised that I was clearly missing something.  Pictures of my muscles in very tight t-shirts.

Believe it or not, and I know I wouldn’t, but I’ve had my induction training, paid my £500 annual fee in advance which is just such exceptional value – and I am lifting.  Lifting.  LIFTING I tell you.

Shortly I will be a #properrippedbro

Power to The Winfield.

I shall also be listening to infinite amounts of tech-house going forwards and doing fist-pumps whenever possible.  Yeah, Moorgate station – fist pump time!  No I don’t have a Nectar card – fist pump time!  Hull City AFC have conceded another goal – fist pump time.  Yeah!

Right I’m off down the gym again – haven’t been for 3 hours.  I shall post some gym-selfies later with my new bro’s.  Yeah!  Fist pump, baby.

Anyone got any roids?

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *