Love Your European Union

1. One of the biggest parts of the European Union is the Common Agricultural Policy which gives money to landowners like the Queen, and the Queen is very nice so she deserves the extra £7m she received over the last decade which hopefully paid for that concert outside the Palace last year.

2. Without the £150,000.00 that was spent researching the social relevance of coffee then we would not know that coffee has a social relevance.  I hope Starbucks appreciates the European Union.

3. £58,000.00 was spent on a Chilli Pepper festival.  I wish our government would stop spending money on boring things like teachers and spend it on festivals instead.  I want a gravy festival – can you imagine that?

4. £196,000.00 was the bargain cost of a nomad puppet academy.  I have really struggled with research into this but it seems on the face of it a sensible investment as not all puppets would want to have a particular homeland.

Now some of these figures are courtesy of BBC research highlighted on Newsnight so you may want to take them with a pinch of salt given recent ongoings.

I guess not everyone has the imagination or intelligence to appreciate the improved cultural cohesion offered by said expenditure, some may even question the validity of thousands of Eurocrats being paid more than our Prime Minister, however not to worry because the EU in 2013 is going to spend €2m to promote the benefits of EU membership to UK citizens.

And just think, with our ongoing membership of the European Union, we might once again end up with Tony Blair as our leader if he overtakes Rumpey-pumpey as President one day.  Finally the whole of Europe will go to war together instead of against each other.

We are definitely living the European dream.  Not quite as much as our tax-loving compatriots in Greece or our friends in Spain with a far larger bullet train system than Japan (that nobody actually uses).

As the accounts have not been signed off by auditors for the last 18 years due to fraud and mismanagement it is really hard to understand why when ignoring undecided voters, 2 in 3 want to leave the European Union.

Why do people not understand the benefits?