I can sometimes see the look that Maggie gives me. Not sexual but of disdain. Almost as if I were a socialist.
I worried that we were going to have a serious falling out a while back and then realised that clearly it was her surroundings that was making her unhappy – not me.
So I undertook a project after only 8 months of living in Bracknell to unpack the remaining boxes – of which there were many. Mostly consisting solely of CDs.
I love my music, you may have guessed, so who better than Maggie, to protect them than the ultimate protector of modern-day Britain, Nigel Farage.
Ha, only joking. He can go fuck himself. Nigel cares about Nigel. Maggie cares about me, you and everyone.
And think about it. I have now lived in Bracknell for nearly 10 months and nobody has burgled me. What brings me such luck? Well, think about all of those shops that you used to steal from that now have cardboard cutout police officers that you now avoid.
And now (well two and a bit months ago), I have more than half of my CDs in one place – the boxes have gone – you can see the proud smile on her face, can’t you?
Seriously. Compare the photos dot com.
Still giving me the silent treatment though – but it is well-known that if a Brit ignores you then he/she is in love with you. I know she loves me.