Complaint: Sainsbury’s Avocados. Again.

[From 2018]

Hi Sainsburys

How is my favourite supermarket doing?  I hear that you had pretty good Christmas results.
Alas, your avocados have been a little disappointing on occasion recently.

Twice I have bought your dual pack of ripe avocados in recent weeks (I’m stretching the definition of recent here) and ended up being disappointed.  So disappointed that I have taken to buying avocados from Tesco.

As you may understand, now that I have moved to London, I need to prove my credentials by eating as many avocados as possible – especially on toast.  And not just any toast, but the seediest, sourdoughest, wheatgermiest toast possible.  And then grow an ironic Hitler moustache.

The first occasion, both of them were just horrid – quite yah…yucky.  I don’t know how to describe them.
The second occasion, one was good, but the other had a massive gash across it – this was face down so I couldn’t see when buying it.

I appreciate that getting avocados perfect every time is not possible, but these were pretty damn disappointing.

Oh my word.  One more thing.  On my most recent delivery, I ordered some fruit yoghurts.  I saw that they had been substituted when they arrived but I didn’t look closely – I assumed for the other type of fruit yoghurt.

But no.  Toffee.  How is toffee comparable to peach?  Also vanilla, and banana.  How do any of them come close to the fruit flavours of peach, passionfruit – and whatever your other ones are?

It makes no sense.  Surely substitute for another brand of similar flavours?

Anyway, time to go make some toast with my Tesco avocado.   #sad

Kind regards
James

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Dear James

Thanks for your recent email about the quality of our avocados of late, I’m sorry that they haven’t been up to scratch, I appreciate your need to eat so many avocados, especially as you’re living in London now.

I’ve logged your feedback with our Product Quality team so that they can work on improving our quality control for these in future.

As an apology from us I’ve popped a £5 gift card in the post for you, please allow 3-5 working days for this to arrive and a further 72 hours upon receiving it for the balance to be added.

And I’m sorry to hear about the substitutions that you received on your online order, unfortunately at Careline we are only able to handle in store and product related issues, however I have passed your feedback on to our Online Team.

We appreciate you taking the time to contact us and we hope to see you in store again soon.

Kind regards

Complaint: Metropolitan Line Rant

As I type this now, I must admit that the service has been much better this month on the Metropolitan line – or at least I’ve got lucky in terms of avoiding the signal failures.

However, one particular journey stands out from 2018 which was such a clusterfuck that I needed answers.  Would I get them?

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I guess I should be amused that you are trying to charge me £8.00 for the clusterfuck of a journey on Thursday 4th January, that took nearly 3 times as long as it should have.  Surprised you are not charging me for a season ticket just to really rub salt in the wounds.

So last week I was ill.  I’ve had a cold, I’ve had a comedown and a fairly extreme hangover.  I had already had enough when I got to Moorgate at on Thursday evening at 18:06 – a true centre of confusion.  A train was sat at the platform, doors open, going nowhere – though I couldn’t fit on it anyway.

Nobody announcing what was happening (or wasn’t), after a while some people got off the train, so I got on.  Then after a while, the train driver announced that there was a broken down train between Barbican and Farringdon.  So I got off and pondered my options.

At first I tried to get through the staircase to go to the Northern line – but it wasn’t going anywhere.  So I left the station by the other exit (I guess I mustn’t have swiped out), and ended up walking to Bank station.  Queued to get through the ticket barriers, waited for a tube I could get on, and stood close to a rather stinky woman – though I don’t profess to exhale flowers myself come 6pm.

So the Central line at rush-hour is minging.  Who knew?

Then I had a short journey on the Bakerloo line to Baker Street.  Which was actually quite pleasant – hell I even got a seat.  Albeit opposite someone who was either talking to himself or me – I pretended to be oblivious.

One assumed that seeing as the broken down train was between Barbican and Farringdon, that everything would be fine from Baker Street – perhaps a couple less trains.  But no, the whole service had collapsed.

Some mystery services were appearing on platform 2 despite the fact that the service was apparently suspended Aldgate to Baker Street – one assumes they must have been appearing from some parallel universe.  Not that it was any use to me, as I couldn’t get on any of them.

But there were trains on the two non-through platforms.  Due to leave in 1 minute.  This was one, long, possibly ever-lasting minute as both trains that I attempted to catch from Baker Street simply never went anywhere, despite a consistent promise that they were about to.

Your chaps then started advising people to use the Jubilee Line to Wembley Park – where a normal service was allegedly operating from.

Again, crammed on a tube, it eventually made its way to Wembley Park.  Where I then proceeded to wait forever for a Metropolitan line train due in “1 minute”.

I could go on, but this was the most appalling journey home – yet another service failure from TFL on the Metropolitan line.

So, some questions.  Why did the whole service seem to collapse?  Why are there no contingency plans to ensure a good service on the rest of the line away from the broken train?  Why were tube trains just sat there at Baker Street?  Why were trains perennially leaving in 1 minute?

Then I would respectfully like to ask for some refunds.  At the minimum, I should not be charged both the £8.00 and the £4.70 for the way home.  Any other company would offer reasonable additional compensation for distress, disinformation and delay.

Hoping that I actually get some answers to the service failure from last Thursday – I am sure there are many other severely frustrated passengers who would like an explanation too.

Regards

James Winfield

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Dear James

Thank you for your recent email about your contactless card refund.

I understand you sent in bank details to have a refund for a journey and I appreciate you contacted us.

I`m more than happy to inform you I`ve sent £12.70 to your bank account.

This is a manual bank transfer that can take up to five working days to show on your bank statements.

Further on your question automatic refunds are reversed back to payment cards as there is no human interaction but as this is a manual refund we’re not able to do so.

We highly recommend not sending bank details by email for security purposes. In this case there is nothing to worry about as your bank account number and sort code are just used to pay in but keep it in mind for the future.

I do apologise for the time consuming and I wish you all the best.

Thanks again for contacting us. If there is anything else we can help you with, please reply to this email. Alternatively, you can call us on 0343 222 1234 and we’ll be happy to help you.

Kind regards

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Customer Service Adviser
Transport for London Customer Services

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Of course, no answers. Things like this still happen.

Complaint: Sports Mixtures

Dear Cadbury’s

There is an argument at the age of 38 and with several fillings and a few teeth missing, that I should have learnt my lesson and stopped eating sweets.

But stuff that.  Life is short and I love sugar.

And Sports Mixtures are one of my favourite sweets – that and Tangfastics, I find hard to go a day without one.  Or two.  Or three.  And I wonder why I’m fat.

Anyway, before I bore you rigid about my new weight-loss plan that will never work, I would like to make a complaint about Sports Mixtures.

Normally they are awesome -80% of the time, the pack is fresh, squidgy and fruity.

But occasionally, around 20% of the time and this is not a new thing, they are really hard, ugly and dry…a bit like me on a Monday.

Why is this?  This has been happening for years – since Lions used to produce them.  It is like some packs get freshly made sweets, and others get dry sweets that have been left on the side for weeks.

I should have kept the most recent packet that this happened with, but am happy to inform you when it next happens – it happens roughly one in every 5 packs.  Maybe a little less frequent.

I hope you can find out why this is happening, and fix it.

Kind regards
James

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Dear James Winfield,

Thanks for getting in touch with us; we want our consumers to always enjoy our products. Please be assured that any changes to products are implemented only after very thorough research and evaluation, and we are sorry that on this occasion you are disappointed.

We have made a small change to the proportions of the ingredients we use in our Sports Mix sweets; the new blend of ingredients also means that our Sports Mix sweets will have a softer texture, something that we know from feedback, our customers would prefer, while still having the same great taste.

Again, we are sorry that the change to the product does not suit your taste, and please be assured that your comments have been duly noted, and will be shared with the relevant colleagues.

Kind regards,

Consumer Relations Team

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Not even a voucher for a new pack.

Complaint: Mouldy Tomatoes

Hey Sainsbury’s, how’s life?

We haven’t spoken for a while, which for most people other than my mum, is probably a good thing.  Definitely for you, as it means I have something to moan about and then you have to spend time refunding me the half a cucumber or whatever it is that I am moaning about.  Though the Metropolitan line is taking the brunt of my moaning capacity at the moment.

My lack of contact means that I’m either too busy or I’m happy, and until this delivery I was both.

Only one issue, the tomatoes – very nice but expensive tomatoes, had a huge patch of mould on them when I opened them.

They were dated 8th November, but when I opened them on 6th November I noted the mould.

That’s all.

I will leave it with you, and may I take this opportunity to wish you not only a Merry Christmas, but also a Happy Easter, in the hope that I won’t have need to write to you before then – I barely have time to text my grandma let alone complain to you.

All the best

James

(random image stolen from the internet)
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Thank you for getting in touch and letting us know about this.  I apologise that the tomatoes were delivered with mould on them, I have reported this to the store so they have been made aware they were delivered like this.  I have refunded the tomatoes back on to the account.
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I think our loving relationship is over.  I didn’t even get a “Dear James” from them.

Complaint: TFL – Various

The first of my complaints this year to TFL – on a broad range of subjects.

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Dear Sir/Madam

I don’t know where to start with this complaint.  How about GRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZR RGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZR RZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZR RZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZ RRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRR ZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZ RRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZ RRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZR RZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZR RZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZ RRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRGRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRRZRR?

Yes, that was what awoke me on both a Saturday and a Sunday morning – early – very early in the mornings, back in September.

I live close to Rayner’s Lane tube station, with my bedroom facing onto the Piccadilly line.  I quite like being able to see tube trains go past – for some bizarre reason this marginally excites me and I sometimes like to wave at the passengers as they go by.

However my view has been spoiled, as all of the trees and bushes at the back have either been chopped down or completely stripped bare.  I now have an embankment of rubbish to look at with a load of chopped tree branches.  I can understand cutting back trees next to a tube line – but completely removing all foilage?  This is quite disgraceful – let alone the noise disturbance.

Then we had October.  Almost every day it seemed as though there were significant delays on the Metropolitan line.  A couple of mornings I couldn’t even get into work – nearly every morning I was late to work – and quite often late home.  Yes, you did refund some delayed journeys – but others you didn’t.  Maybe some delays were out of your control, but most of the time it seemed to be due to signal failures – why did these keep happening?  What are you doing to ensure that these stop occurring?  I believe that I am correct in saying that all signalling on the Metropolitan line is due to be replaced by 2022 – but does this mean 4-5 years of regular signal failures for myself and other passengers?

Then we had some snow the other Sunday.  Not a huge amount of snow, but enough to wipe out both the Metropolitan and Piccadilly line for pretty much the whole day.  Why did this happen?  Why was there no testing done to ensure this kind of failure wouldn’t happen?  What has been done to ensure this doesn’t happen next time it snows?  Am I safe to go work in central London next time snow is due?

Also the information provided on the website/twitter was dreadful.  Why couldn’t we have been advised of the likely timescale of it being out?  And why were anti-economic messages put out advising people not to travel?

Speaking of going against the economy, and the UK in general, I was absolutely appalled to see advertising for RT.  Russia Today, is a Kremlin-funded (if not Kremlin-run) outfit that wants to subvert our democracy and turn all western countries such as our own into unstable, poorer countries.  They have put out reems of outright lies both about what has happened in this country, and across the world.  This is pretty much the equivalent of advertising for the Nazi Party on the tube in 1940…that didn’t happen did it?  So why allow our enemy of RT to advertise?  Please seriously reconsider the impact on the country of RT – as this will impact on the income from fares too.

And finally, do you realise that removing Uber’s license will mean more people get illegal taxis back from nightclubs?  Is that what you want?  Uber makes many people feel safe on their journey home.  Plus it is safer for taxi drivers themselves as they are not going to get robbed.  Not only an anti-economic decision but an anti-safety decision.  But one assumes the socialist mayor and trade unions are running the show on this.

I appreciate that my complaint is multi-faceted, but I do expect some kind of responses to the questions that I have posed.

Running the transport network for the best city in the world cannot be easy.  There are a lot of things that you get right, and 90% of the time, the service is excellent.  There are great improvements being made, and these are all appreciated.

One more thing – any chance of electronic boards at Rayner’s Lane to see when the next tube is due?

Kindish regards
James

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Dear Mr Winfield

Thanks for your feedback form about your complaints.

I’m extremely sorry to read about the experiences you’ve come across.

I’m sorry to read there have been changes to your view of the tubes from your window.

With regards to delays, as a commuter myself, I can appreciate the frustration and inconvenience caused especially as you rely on the service to travel and punctuality is of essence.

We try our best to run all of our trains to schedule. However, on a network with services as frequent as ours even small delays can cause further disruption to customers down the line.

Having said this, your satisfaction is our utmost concern. Also we want our customers to have a good experience with their journeys on the Underground.

When there is severe weather, for customer safety changes need to be made based on investigation from Train Operating Managers, this is why there were delays and cancellations on the lines.

With regards to your comments on RT, Uber license and information board at Rayners Lane station, I’ve forwarded this so it can be looked into. I can assure you that it’ll be taken seriously as they will investigate it. They’ll also put measures in place to resolve the problem.

I’m grateful that you brought this matter to our attention; we use feedback from customers to ensure that we can consistently develop the services across our network. I also wish you a more pleasant journey on our services.

I would like to again apologise for the inconvenience caused.

Thanks again for contacting us. If there is anything else we can help you with, please reply to this email. Alternatively, you can call us on 0343 222 1234 and we’ll be happy to help you.

Kind regards

xxxxxxxxxxx
Customer Service Adviser
Transport for London Customer Services

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A fairly pointless response.

However – behold the electronic information boards at Rayners Lane:

I’m taking credit.

Complaint: Austrian Airlines

Dear Sir/Madam
A month or so ago, I travelled with yourselves to Vienna.  In Austria.  Though you probably know that Vienna is in Austria.
The flight on the way there was efficient and friendly – abominable cupcake, but hey, free food.
Vienna is a great city, as I am sure that you already know.  We had a great time there, but were ready to come back on the Monday, expecting to get home with enough time to do some tasks ready for work the next day.
Alas.  We were at the airport in good time, security checks were efficient and we made it with enough time for a beer in the bar.
We then walked for quite a long time all the way down to the gate.  Not long after, they announced a delay of one hour.
Not ideal, but I’m kinda used to being delayed on transport, living in London.  Plus there was a decent bar…albeit rather a long walk away.
So we had another drink and then made our way all the way back to the gate.  A bit of standing around then we starting boiling…I mean boarding.
Which meant rather a long time stuck in a glass tunnel, being heated to excessive levels, before then boarding a rammed coach to go to the aeroplane.
Or at least we thought it was going to the aeroplane.  It just sat there, we remained hot and uncomfortable (though not physically boiling any longer).
Nobody knew what was happening.
Eventually we were all told to get off the bus, walk back through the greenhouse, and wait.
No information was forthcoming at first, but we were told that we couldn’t board the plane as the catering facilities were not ready.
Yep, you read that correctly – we had to suffer in both the greenhouse and the coach going nowhere because there were no stale muffins on the plane.  Who cares?  Why can you not load passengers and muffins at the same time?
So we hung around, no idea what was happening.  No information, no new ETA.
Eventually, the boarding process started, but my impression of Austria as an efficient, well-run country was shattered.  Miraculously, I suspect the delay was just short of the 3 hours at which point you would be due to compensate us by EU law – though I’d be interested to find out from you exactly how long it was delayed for.
I was considering visiting Vienna again next year, hell I was even vaguely wondering about the possibility of moving there to work if Brexit ends up a complete disaster rather than just a partial disaster.  However, the 2-3 hour delay I suffered because of Austrian’s buffoonery has probably put me off from a repeat trip.
Not only that, I then returned to severe delays (shock horror) on the tube network in London, and was subsequently even later home than expected.
It was a much later night than I expected.
A shame to finish a wonderful trip with such an inadequately organised airline.
Regards
James
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Dear Mr Winfield, 
Thank you for your email dated 22 July 2018. We appreciate your patience while waiting for our response. 
We regret that you were affected by a flight delay on your journey from Vienna to London on 11 June 2018. Any change to your anticipated schedule can be stressful and your frustration under these circumstances is understandable. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience this caused and for the unsatisfactory experience. 
Based on our records, flight OS 455 was delayed due to unforeseen technical problem. While we understand your request to be compensated, kindly be informed that your arrival delay was less than 3 hours at your final destination. Therefore, as per EC Regulation 261/2004 we ask for your understanding that we are unable to comply with your request. 
Even though we cannot comply with your present request, we would be happy if you continued to place your trust in Austria. 
Yours sincerely,   
Aldiny Obusa
AUSTRIAN AIRLINES
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We were less than 30 minutes away from compensation.  Doh.

Complaint: Sainsburys Cucumber

Dear Sir/Madam

I still have not worked out the point of cucumber.

It tastes of nothing.  It seems to be just water.  It is utterly pointless.

Yet I add it to my salad.  Why?  I have no idea.  Just one of the many pointless things I do in my life, like writing letters of complaint over something worth about 55p in the vague hope that I am making someone smile somewhere with my vague attempts at humour.

Anyway, I had a cucumber bought from my local Sainsbury’s store the other day.  Other week, actually, I’ve been busy.

The sell-buy date was 19th August, if I recall correctly, but several days in advance if this, it turned totally loathsome, as if the bottom half of the cucumber had started sharing Britain First posts on it’s newsfeed.

Yet the top half remained decent and I kept eating it – how long had the bottom half turned minging for (RIP Jade Goody) whilst I was still eating it?  I dread to think.

So yes, I have spent more than 55p of my time writing to you, and more than 55p of your time in reading and hopefully responding to my beautiful drivel, about a cucumber worth 55p that I still ate half of.

Though as dull and pointless as cucumbers may be, it is quite shocking just how disgusting they become when they go off.  Like proper Hitler-style.

Bye

ps When are you fixing your yoghurt pots?

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Dear James

Thanks for your email. I’m sorry that the cucumber you got was so offensive. I struggle finding the point of cucumber myself, so I Googled it.

Apparently cucumber is a widely cultivated plant in the gourd family, Cucurbitaceae.

There is 10 main amazing health benefits to cucumbers but due to limited Internet access, I don’t actually know what these are.

I do know they shouldn’t be horrible on one end, so I’ve reported the poor quality through to our supplier and also added 110 points onto your Nectar account.

​This is to cover the cost of the dodgy cucumber, with extra, so you can pick up a perfect one on us, next time you’re in.

Your points will show in your account and be available for you to spend in the next 72 hours.

Thank you again for taking the time to get in touch. I hope that this has been helpful and we see you in store soon!
Kind regards

Complaint: Memories & Yoghurts

Dear M&S

I remember when I was a child, hating every single minute of being dragged around Marks & Spencer in Hull.  All I wanted to do was go out and play football, and perhaps set fire to the odd rubbish bin if I could steal some matches.

But no, almost every Saturday, my mother and father decided that they would torture me by spending elongated periods in this infernal hell.  The only positive experience I ever had in there was when I found a penny on the floor.

As soon as I was old enough to buy my own fire-lighting equipment, I resolved that I would never step foot in Marks & Spencer ever again.  Oh how I laughed every time there were reports in the news about low sales.

Roll on 30 years, and I have somehow found that I quite like your food.  Very much like it, in fact.  Sadly, I am on a fairly low wage, so it is a rare treat for me to go into Marks & Spencer.

Recently I went in and purchased a pack of 4 M&S yoghurts, I forget exactly which but they were along the lines of blackcurrant, perhaps rhubarb, and two other flavours.  Around £1.85 maybe.

I went back to work and tried to break one off.  And tried, and tried.  And tried some more.  I simply could not get the separate the individual yoghurt pots.

What did however occur, was that all 4 yoghurt lids came off.  Helpful if you want 4 yoghurts or perhaps have 3 very attractive young ladies that you are going to lay on the floor with and spoon yoghurt into each other’s mouths.

Sadly I was at work.  I did not want 4 yoghurts.  And I was going to the pub after, on the tube – open yoghurt pots were not going to be useful travel companions.

I was so disamused that I didn’t even bother to eat one yoghurt.

Regards
James ‘Yoghurt-less’ Winfield

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Hi James

Thank you for taking the time to contact us about the yoghurts you bought recently.

Like you, I have many memories of being dragged around my local M&S by my mum on a bleak Saturday morning. I can’t say I had the same desire to get hold of some matches to set fire to a rubbish bin, but each to their own!

However, again, like you, I too have developed a kind of love affair with M&S food and I love treating myself every now an again. So I can only imagine how gutting it must’ve been for all the lids to peel off the yoghurts. I also agree, opened yoghurt is not an appropriate pub snack!

The standard of our food and the packaging it comes in means a lot to us, and we put a lot of time and effort into making sure it’s perfect.

The information you’ve given us about what was wrong has been very useful. I’ve reported this to my colleagues who work in our Food team, and they’ll be keeping a close eye on this range to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

I’d like to send you a gift card to cover the cost of the yoghurts so you can treat yourself to something else from our store. So I can do this, can you send us your address please?

We look forward to hearing from you soon, James.

Kind regards

Retail Customer Services
Your M&S Customer Service

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Dear Miss xxxx

I am touched to hear that I am not the only child to have suffered at the hands of weekly parental shopping decisions. Perhaps this could be the start of a beautiful friendship?

My address is below – I look forward to having 4 yoghurts for dinner shortly.

Have a nice day, new friend,
James

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Dear James,

Thanks for getting back to us with your address, I’m sorry to have come between you and xxxx!

I’ve popped a £2 gift card in the post for you, to cover the cost of the yoghurts. This will be on your doorstep within 3-5 working days and can be used in any of our UK stores or online at http://www.marksandspencer.com/.

I hope you enjoy your yoghurts, with or without attractive young women present.
Kind regards

Retail Customer Services
Your M&S Customer Service

Complaint: Tesco Avocados

Sometimes it takes a bit of work to get a refund…or just to find common cause with your refunder:

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Dear Tesco

I am generally not a fan of your food quality – some will call me a snob, but I am from up north so not entirely sure that is something that can be aimed at me.

Anyway, I actually quite like your avocados, and go through several a week.  Well, I normally like your avocados.

Over the last month, I have had two pretty horrid, soft and close to inedible avocados from your Rayner’s Lane store.

I will keep buying them from there, as the good ones far outweigh the bad, however I have not been left amused by the quality – I live in London and need my avocados.  Do you not understand?

Also, your store sometimes smells of poo.  Actual poo.  This has been only on occasion this year, but last year it was fairly consistent.

Any idea why?

Kind regards
James Avocado Winfield

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Dear Mr Winfield

Thank you for your email.
I am sorry to read of the problems which you have encountered, when purchasing advocados from your local store. I can appreciate how annoying this must have been for you, especially as the some of the advocado’s have been of poor quality and the store seems to have an unpleasent odour.

We’re committed to sourcing our products responsibly and take the quality of all of the products we sell very seriously. Any complaint about a product is recorded which allows us to work with our suppliers to ensure that our products are of the highest quality.

In order for me to ensure that this is done, I’d be very grateful if you could reply to me with some details, which I’d like to pass on to our supplier with your permission. Could you tell me:

– Your full postal address – Your telephone number – Product barcode – Cost of the product – Use by/best before date – Supplier code –

Our technical teams work closely with our suppliers to alert them to any product concerns and ensure that the highest standards are being met. Unfortunately, it does appear that something went wrong on this occasion, but we hope you’ll be reassured to know the information you have given us will help us to stop this from happening again.

Upon receipt of these additional details, I would also be happy to send you a Tesco Moneycard to reimburse you for the cost of the product.

Also, please can you advise me which store you purchased the advocados from? As I would like to raise your complaint about the strong odour circulating the store.
Thanks again for taking the time to tell us about this. I look forward to your reply.

Kind regards

Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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Hi

Gosh I don’t remember what date I bought them on, let alone what the barcode was!  It’s a struggle to remember my name sometimes.

They were in the loosely supplied section, so had no sell-by date.  The store is the one close to Rayner’s Lane tube station.  One occasion was a couple of weeks ago (they all felt out of date actually, the one I bought I hoped less so…alas), the other occasion in December.

My address is below and my phone number is xxxxxxxxxxx.  I hope that helps.

Kind regards

James

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Dear Mr Winfield

Thank you for your reply and please accept my sincere apologies for the delay in my response.

Sadly, I have been unable to reach the store by phone. I have therefore sent your feedback to the store, regarding the smell in store. So, hopefully this can be resolved as soon as posisble.

In addition, I am sorry that the packaging is no longer available for the advocado’s. As you can appreciate that we would require the barcode number, in order to feed your comments back to the relevent Supplier and also provide a refund.

Going forward, should you experience any further quality issues with the products which you purchase from us, please return this to store along with your receipt.

Thank you for contacting me and for bringing this to my attention.

Kind regards

Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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Dear xxxx

I am not sure that you have understood my previous e-mail.

The avocados in the store are sold loose.  They have never had any packaging as such.  This is fine.

However what is not acceptable is when they are inedible – ie sold when they are clearly out of date.

This is surely a Tesco store management issue as opposed to a supplier issue?

Regards
James

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Dear James

Thank you for your email reply.

xxxx is out of the business so please allow me to respond in her absence.

If the avocados are coming into the store in this condition, then xxxx is right in believing it is a supplier issue.  Staff are trained to check stock periodically to ensure anything that is not fit for consumption is removed whenever possible.  Loose fruit and vegetables is certainly something the staff are able to keep an eye on as they don’t contain any outer packaging as you’ve stated.

Usually even loose products will contain an Oval shape type sticker with some supplier details.  This would have been helpful to xxxx, but I realise you’ve now thrown everything away so this is not possible to take from you.

With that said, I can see that xxxx has made the store fully aware of your concerns and especially in regards to the odour you’ve experienced whilst shopping there.  This is being investigated behind the scenes to help ensure any future visit is a pleasant one.  If not, please do ask to speak with an in-store Duty Manager.

As we have no supplier details or product to have returned to the store, it is very difficult to refund you for these.  If you had photos of the supplier’s sticker, along with any photos showing the poor quality, we would have been able to help.

Please rest assured that it’s never our intention to frustrate or disappoint any customer at any time.  However, I do hope the above explains why I’m unable to meet your expectations on this occasion.

If you still feel a refund is in order, I would kindly suggest speaking with the store’s Duty Manager on your next usual visit.  Please do take along your till receipt to help them assist you further.

Thank you for your time and if there is anything else we can do to help, please do let us know.

Kind regards

Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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A week or so later…

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Dear xxxx

I appreciate that you are probably thinking, “thank **** we shut him up”, but just like a bad smell, or perhaps Nigel Farage, I am back.

So I’ve bought another avocado from the local Tesco Express store so that I can send you a photograph of the barcode.  I appreciate that it isn’t exactly the same sticker as the two badvocados had, but I expect that it is exactly the same barcode.

I don’t really know why I am persisting with this, but I do feel that there is a slight soon-to-be-denied lack of trust towards what I am saying, and that you perhaps feel that as I am a northerner, I cannot possibly be eating something as healthy as an avocado.  Don’t worry, I will consume large volumes of bacon, beer and cocaine as soon as possible.

Alas, I am stuck with my morose feelings of incompleteness from two well below standard avocados – and now another one which I haven’t opened yet, but should be ok.  But there is that element of trepidation.

I should probably just leave it here and not still be banging on about it, I could just avoid shopping at Tesco for a few weeks to give myself some vague satisfaction that I am sticking it to the multi-national corporation for allowing two bad avocados to be purchased.  I am sure that you will miss my average monthly spend of around £31.54 as much as we missed Nigel Farage not being on the news last week.

Anyway, photograph of barcode pointlessly attached.

I look forward to your corporate platitudes in return.

Kindish regards

James

ps If you get bored on your lunch break, I do a fine collection of roast dinner reviews on my blog – http://rdldn.co.uk/

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Dear James

Thank you for your further email and my profuse apologies for the week taken to reply.  I was offer for a few days and unfortunately the email wasn’t picked up by a colleague.

With that said, I’ve now arranged for a £10.00 Tesco Moneycard to be sent to you in the post.  This should arrive within the next 5 – 10 working days.  I’ve also notified the supplier for internal purposes, sp rest assured that they’ve been informed of your experience behind the scenes.

It’s been a pleasure to help and if there is anything else I can do to help James, please do let me know.

Kind regards

Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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Dear xxxx

Thank you for your e-mail and your kind offer of compensation – I only wanted £2.20 but hey, I won’t say anything if you don’t.

Slightly bad timing though as I was fishing around for things to give up for Lent yesterday.

In previous years I have given up paper clips, zebra crossings and trimming my eyebrows.  It gets more difficult to think of suitable things to give up for Lent – it always kind of slaps me in the face when I’m not expecting it – and you’d have thought that they would have had it on a different week to Valentine’s Day, but hey ho.  Hopefully they’ll look into the timing issue for next year.

Anyway, so I was waiting quite a long time to use the self-service machines yesterday – not your fault, just some very slow people in front of me, when it dawned on me – I should give up Tesco for Lent.

Oh well, I’m committed to it now.  Though last year I gave up talking about Brexit for Lent, which didn’t last very long.

I look forward to having a Tesco avocado feast in early April.

All the best
James

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Conclusion – all you need to do is show your contempt for Nigel Farage to get your own way.

Complaint – Brexit Costing Me Another £1 A Month – OFFICIAL!

I received an invoice last month from my hosting company for £5.99 instead of the usual £4.99.  Cue an e-mail:

Hello

I noticed that you are trying to charge me £5.99 for hosting this month, instead of the usual £4.99.

Please can you correct your invoice and ensure the correct amount of £4.99 is charged.

Kind regards
James

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Hi James,

Thank you for contacting us on the matter and apologies for the delay in my reply.

I’m afraid the price of £5.99 is the correct amount of the hosting package as we have increased our hosting package’s prices by 20% and we have notified all of our customers about this change via email.

Since 2003 we have offered the same great service without any price adjustments. Over those 14 years we have absorbed the cost of inflation rather that passing the cost on to our customers.  Due to the effects of inflation and a weaker pound, our hosting is now cheaper in real terms than it ever has been. We need to make a one-off adjustment to address this so that we can keep offering the same excellent standards of service and continue investing in our infrastructure, improving reliability, performance and features.

Please let me know if you require any further assistance as we would be more than happy to help!

Best regards,

Technical Support.

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Hi

So basically my hosting costs have gone up 20% due to Brexit?

Also I was not advised of the increased cost.

Regards

James

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Hi James,

I have just double-checked and our system should have sent an email to you entitled ‘Important news about your hosting’ on the 08/12/2017.

I fully understand how troubling this can be for you, however, we promise to not let you down as your hosting provider!

Best regards,

Technical Support.

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Hi

I’ve just done a search of my e-mails and cannot find it.  Anyway, I’m more annoyed that Brexit is yet again costing me money – I dread to think what you think of the UK over there in Hungary…then again your leader is hardly a saint!  I’m guessing Hungary from your name, apologies if I am wrong.

All the best

James

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Hi James,

My apologies for the email being lost!

I fully understand how troubling this can be and how Brexit has caused you a loss in money. I’m afraid, I am not from Hungary, however, no worries!

I hope you have a fabulous weekend and please drop me a line if you require further assistance!

Best regards,

Technical Support.

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Proof that Brexit is costing me yet more money.