Complaints: Sainsbury’s & Short-Dated Chicken

A complaint from last year, in May, after my Supermarket Slut project and part of my ongoing relationship troubles with Sainsbury’s Online. ******* Hi Sainsburys Do you remember me? We used to be close.  Really close.  We used to date each other every weekend. But then you kept sending me short-dated chicken…and I can only […]

Complaint: Cadburys & The Smaller Chocolate Bar Sizes

Dear Cadbury’s OK I’m overweight.  Not horrendously so but I am a good 10kg above the weight that one should be. I don’t eat a huge amount of chocolate.  My main issue is not doing any exercise – I refuse to go to the gym as I don’t want people to think I am one […]

Sainsburys Complaint & My Manly Chest

Dear Sainsburys I am not sure whether you are aware but I am entering my manly torso-chest into a Sexy Torso competition shortly. One of the many areas of advice that I have encountered is for colouring my torso to ensure I stand out to the judges. To do so, I need to rub half […]

Complaint: Some Naff Thing I Bought As A Christmas Present

Hello Please can you advise if it is possible to return this item – xxxxxxxyyyyyzzzz. It is still in its box, untouched. I bought it for my girlfriend for Christmas – now ex-girlfriend having been dumped unceremoniously on Christmas Eve whilst on a train, which ended up being stuck in the middle of nowhere for […]

Complaint: Waitrose Minibus

Waitrose gave one of the most disappointing complaint responses ever last year…granted I wasn’t at my most imaginative.  I was just pissed off. Although my suit was imaginary. ***** Dear Sir I was walking through your Bracknell business park earlier this evening and the Waitrose minibus came driving past, really rather fast and straight through […]