Lent 2017

Every year I give up something fundamental in my life as a sacrifice.

Last year I gave up high-5’s.  The year before I gave up trimming my eyebrows.

Other years I gave up important aspects of living such as French swear words, zebra crossings, semi-colons and paper clips.

If you know me, you know just how religiously I like to follow the nine commandments of the moon and giving something up for lent is my way of worshipping her.

So onto this year.

Well, I really want to give up recruitment consultants.  Sadly, until I get a job, I am going to have to live with them ringing me up trying to prize information out of me whilst having absolutely no intention of putting me forward for any role.

It is often difficult to think of something important enough to give up, sometimes it takes longer than lent itself to think of something, but this year was actually very easy.

I am giving up Brexit for lent (oh if only the government…STOP, James!).

Yes I am giving up Brexit for lent.

No more arguing about Brexit.  No more complaining about Brexit.  No more talking about Brexit.  No taking part in any discussions about Brexit.

To be clear, I am giving up any kind of discussion about Brexit.

I can still read about Brexit or listen/watch the latest news about Brexit, but I cannot make any comment about it whatsoever, positive, negative – any kind of statement, question, verbal or written, other than advise that I have given up Brexit for lent.

Wish me luck.

To celebrate my sacrifice, I am going to have pancakes this afternoon.  Yeah I know I was supposed to have them yesterday but I’m not everyone else.

I’ll live my life my way, thank you, not following the edicts of Sainsbury’s or whoever made it up.

Finally I’d just like to say, screw you Jesus.

Lent 2016

Every year I give up something profound for Lent.

I feel that it is important to show my humility and make a sacrifice on an annual basis.

In previous years, I have given up such delights as paper clips, French swear words and zebra crossings.

There was a year that I gave up semi-colons – which would have been a nightmare if I was learning how to code back then.

And last year I gave up eyebrow grooming.  A quarter of my eyebrow hairs grow twice as long as the others – I had proper old politician bushes by Easter.

Clearly I have thought long and hard as to what would be most suitable to give up for Lent this year.  It took quite some time to decide but I have decided to give up:

High 5’s.

Yes from now until Easter there will be no High 5’s.  You can offer me a High 5 but I cannot attempt to complete it.  I can offer you a High 5 but again, I cannot complete it.

Handshakes and High 10’s are fine.

Wish me well on my humble and profound sacrifice.

May I take this opportunity to thank Jesus, Moses Odubajo and Ronaldo for their continued inspiration throughout my life.

Lent 2015

What do paper clips, zebra crossings and French swear words all have in common?

I have, in previous years, given them up for Lent.

Yes Lent is that sacrificial period that I take slightly more seriously than Ramadan (seriously – how do you go without drinking water during the day??).

And I continue in such reverent vain this year as I am giving up pruning my eyebrows.

No plucking, no shaving, no form of eyebrow management is allowed for 40 days.

You may jest but I am of the age where a fair proportion of my eyebrow hairs grow in different directions and seemingly want a mullet of their own, or perhaps they are trying to scare the birds away.

My eyebrows need management.  I seriously do not understand why many older guys, especially politicians, allow these great pampas bushes to grow above their eyes – seriously guys, sort them out.  They are nearly as ridiculous as women who paint their eyebrows on.

Lent 2014

Those of you that know me well will know that I am always
keen to respect the religion that I was forced into as a baby without choice
and always try to do something for Lent.
Last year I gave up zebra crossings.  However I take little notice of where I walk
so I have no idea if I succeeded.

A few years ago I gave up paper clips for lent. 
I did succeed with this but I got annoyed with stapling and unstapling,
a tad inefficient.

This year I have decided to give up swearing – in French.
You may think this is easy for an Englishman but I live with
a Frenchman.
Vaffanculo scheisen fuck.

That’s the French President by the way.  Answers a few questions doesn’t it?

Lent Is Lent

Those that know me will know that I am not exactly the most religious person in the world.

I’m not one of those people that think religion is the cause of all evil in the world – yes sure it has caused a few wars in its time.  Religion has a place in the world, but not in my life.

I don’t feel I need to follow somebody else’s guidance, I can follow my own morals and cohabit peacefully with anyone around me.

I do however have a reasonable comprehension why others may feel the desire to have a faith in their life and I think it is up to the individual to decide.  I believe in freedom of choice.

In recent years I have decided that I should find something suitable to give up for lent.

Last year, I cannot remember what I gave up.  It is probably on my blog but I cannot be arsed to look.

The year before, I tried to give up words ending in ‘ent’ – like bent or magnificent.  This was difficult especially when talking.  Not so bad when writing because I could quickly hit delete.

In 2010, I gave up paper clips.  Fairly easy once I got out of the habit and used staples though I definitely annoyed a few people at work by not using paper clips.

So this year I have been pondering.  It isn’t easy to think of something suitable to give up for weeks on end.  Someone suggested to me to give up gravy – but I love gravy.  Why would I give up something I love for something that has no meaning to me?

I have decided therefore that a reasonable sacrifice would be to give up zebra crossings.

Wish me luck.

Lent: Pass Or Fail? ;-) ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

You may be aware that I gave up the humble semi-colon for Lent.

It was Easter just gone, in case you didn’t realise, and I am now slowly getting back in the habit of using them.

I think I may have got into trouble with my joking sarcastic manner once or twice on Facebook, etc by not using the 😉

Anyway, enough teasing – so how did I do?

Well, in the final week I think it was, I accidentally hit the ; instead of a ,

I quickly wrote fuck, and apologised but it was done.

However, the week before that, I realised that my e-mail client at both home and work, was separating my recipients with semi-colons when there was more than one recipient, and I could hardly keep sending the same e-mail several times especially when I was at work, so I guess I failed.

Bloody good attempt though.

So What Am I Giving Up For Lent?

Those of you that know me, will know that I don’t tend to take religious dictats too seriously like lent (though I didn’t smoke crack during daylight hours during Ramadan), however for the last couple of years, I have given something up.

In 2011, I gave up “ent”.  That meant that I could not use words like “bent” or “silent” in my vocabulary.
In 2010, I gave up paper clips.  It was easier than you may think.

So the quest was on today for something to give up:

Magpies?  I always salute the first magpie I see each day.  I cannot feasibly give this up as it may give me bad luck for 40 days.
Sausage rolls?  No, I cannot be giving up the only thing that is edible in Tesco Express for those hangovers where walking to town/cooking is impossible.
Gravy?  The whole point of lent to me is not to give up something I depend on.  Gravy is life.

But on the way home I finally had a stroke of genius, and updated my Facebook status as thus:

I’ve finally worked out what to give up for lent; only the observant among you will be able to work it out, I will blog about it later…shock horror -)

Nobody seemed to get it.

I told you what I was going to give up for lent.

And then I said only the observant would get it.

And then I missed something out 3 characters from the end of said status…

Anyone get it yet???

Yes, I am giving up semi-colons for lent.

I think that is quite suitable.

Wish me luck.  It’s going to be tricky.


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