Where Is Gordon?

You would have thought that the absence of Gordon Brown would be something I would delight in, having spent many years convinced of how he was destroying the country.

I note that he has yet to turn up to Parliament, despite having being elected as an MP in Kirkcaldy. This is clearly not following his constitutional duty, something he banged on about a lot after the election.

I think this is a further disgrace. After all, he is getting paid to work as an MP.

My theory is that he is getting psychiatric treatment, following discovering that the nation is not happy enough with him, despite him believing and announcing some time ago that he saved the world.

Less Ugly New Manager

I would like to congratulate the chairman of Hull City, Adam Pearson, for appointing a less ugly manager than the previous sloth-like character of Iain Dowie, and also a less hideous looking manager than the perma-tanned Phil Brown (born in Sunderland, living in Hull, and without bleach blonde hair – how the hell do you think an all-year orange glow is a good idea).

Not only that I think Nigel Pearson could be a good manager. He seems quite successful.

Our chairman does have a habit of picking a shit manager followed by a successful one;

Jan Molby (erm, where is he now?)
Peter Taylor (2 promotions)
Phil Parkinson (sacked after 4 months)
Phil Brown (saved us from relegation, promoted via Wembley, kept us in Premiership)
Iain Dowie (less said the better)

I don’t want to get promoted. I will be happy just to beat Reading.

Updated Weather Forecast

More good news, unless you don’t like good weather of course.

Tomorrow will be less hot though, down to 25’C. And some more cloud. And possibly a shower in the morning.

Wednesday will be similar, without the shower risk.

Thursday will be hotter again, perhaps up to 28’C.

Friday should remain sunny and hot, but there is a chance of rain on Friday.

The weekend looks to remain very warm, though not as warm as this one, and a chance of rain or showers perhaps, it is pretty uncertain at the moment.

I favour something a bit more mixed for the week after with the hot weather cleared to the south for now.

And that is all for now.

11 Reasons To Be Cheerful, In A Post-England Defeat Way

1. Plenty more hot, sunny weather to come.
2. Only one more week of Wimbledon to suffer.
3. Only two more weeks of a non-England World Cup to suffer.
4. Lots of festivals to come, including Cocoon In The Park, for me.
5. Ibiza still open for 3 months, and 12 more Cocoon parties.
6. Gordon Brown is nowhere to be seen.
7. The Labour government are not wasting huge sums of our money any more.
8. Sven Vath is 15 years older than me and as crazy as ever.
9. House music is sounding great again.
10. Only 6 months until Christmas.
11. Lots more legs and breasts on display due to the good weather (how did I not post this as number 1?)

What Went Wrong?

I did say that we didn’t deserve to win the World Cup, given that the Premiership has ruined football. But it isn’t exactly as if I chose to be English. I am. And I still like football. And I still wanted England to win.

Maybe I got it completely wrong on Friday, and that it was the English who were always going to capitulate to Germany so as to build the German’s confidence to ensure they can knock the smile off the face of Diego Maradona.

Clearly though, picking Scousers was always going to be a downfall, and I don’t think a foreign manager can understand quite as easily that there is quite a divide between Scouse thinking and London thinking.

Having Gerrard as captain was a mistake, but Capello probably had no choice, having stripped Terry of the captaincy.

Continuing to play an out-of-sorts Rooney was a mistake. Just look at Crouch’s goal record.

And why Carragher went when he previously resigned from playing for England, I just do not know.

John Terry did enough to fuck it all up by fucking around. I must admit I do find it a bit difficult to cheer on teams with cheaters.

It does at least feel pretty normal to have lost against Germany. Disappointment is quite reassuring, as winning the World Cup would have been a bit too strange.

I can at least go back to the rest of my life now and forget that football exists, though I might recover in time for the World Cup final.

Though that will be the night after Cocoon In The Park – something far more important and enjoyable than bloody football.

Why England Cannot Possibly Lose To Germany

Some things will be classed as fate, but other things will be classed as the collective will of the absolute total majority of the right-thinking population of the world.

Now unless Mexico throw a spanner in the works, whoever wins out of England and Germany on Sunday, will play Argentina in the next round.

It is in every Englishman’s blood to beat any Argentinian, far more than it is a German – after all the Germans are good people (I’m sure the Argentinians are too but I just get a tiny bit irked by their Falklands demands, and one or two other bits of history).

Anyway, so there is no choice but for England to beat Germany, to get the chance to beat Argentina.

But more importantly than that, every right-thinking mind in the world, will want to see that smug grin knocked off Diego Maradona’s face by England, after he cheated his way to world cup victory, and the general disgrace he has been to the sport over the years.

And this I believe will include the majority of the German nation and their players.

Sure, they will make it look tough, maybe even take us to penalties, but they will let us win as surely it would give them even greater joy to see England knock Diego Maradona out of the World Cup?

Surely every German is thinking along these lines? Germans are not known for putting nationalism over decent-thinking nowadays – they are giving billions to Greece after all!

Got to give some love to the Germans, one of my favourite nations in the world (assuming they do as they should on Sunday).

And I hope you will love them forever too.

Other Weather Forecasts

I can see why people don’t like the weather forecasts they receive from other sources – I hope this government privatises the Met Office so it can do its job properly.

It has an excellent reputation and in my eyes is currently being tarnished with bad forecasting, probably a relationship with the media.

Last night was such an obvious case, where it seemed the presenter was too scared of the consequences of people not understanding what she was saying.

She forecasted the weather for Friday and Saturday, but only the temperature for Sunday, and then carried on with the weather for Monday and Tuesday.

The reason why? I expect it is because she is, like myself, uncertain over whether there will be a thunderstorm on Sunday, and anything she says in the media, will sadly be held against her. So better to say nothing.

I however am free! I can tell you that there is a chance of a thunderstorm on Sunday. Just a chance. Maybe 30% likely?