Weekend Plans

It’s been a while since I did a weekend blog post.  In fact I hardly ever blog about anything now, do I?  I would love to make up for it but I have so much happening at the moment…all good things of course!

I’m actually excited about a visiting DJ tonight in Reading.  When was the last time I said this?  I really don’t remember.  King Roc back around 2008?  Crazy.  Maybe that is because we have so many good local DJs in Reading?!  The guys behind Cubed are doing something different though and are making waves through the decayed Reading nightlife.  This is the first time that they have excited me personally but I have heard lots of good things.

Eats Everything is who I am going for.  Check out his remix of Keep Control by Sono – that bassline, oooh so good.  Or the dubiously named ‘resniff’ of the Jamie Jones track that I am struggling to recall the name of right now.  On at 10:45pm so I can be home in time for the 1am news update and the chicken shop chicken might be vaguely fresh.  Maybe.

So after a good night’s sleep on Friday night, perhaps, I am going to go buy some paper and some arty stuff and go design my own flyers.  Will hand-painted flyers look shit?  I have no idea.  I want my event to do things differently with a touch of added thought, attention and love.  OK I am not doing individual hand-painted flyers, it is just the design that will be hand-painted and then photoshopped with the help of my very good friend, Martin.

At least once I get a logo sorted, I can then upload to Faceache, etc and then start spamming people every week.

I still need to book two more DJs so more work on my search for the most perfect possible DJs.

And speaking of good DJs, I have a mix organised with one very good DJ which is long overdue.

Sunday might be the day for photo-shopping.

I am sure I am missing something obvious too.  I am quite excited.  I wish you all a good weekend – you know where I am tonight if you fancy a boogie 🙂

Keep an eye out for mini tornadoes, I think there will be one or two in England somewhere.

Oh and its just 3 weeks until Sven!

Double Dipping

Sadly for those with a crude mind, I am talking economics not something else.

You may be aware that we re-entered recession in the last quarter for the second time in recent years, hence the term ‘double dip recession’.

I have to admit that I thought we would escape such a scenario with very minor growth of along the lines of 0.1%.  But instead we shrunk by 0.2%.

It is far from the end of the world, it is more of a technical recession than anything anyone will notice, but it will reduce confidence and sentiment which are important for economic recovery (remember what you used to feel like around 8 years ago when you could get cheap credit?).

I shall tackle two questions.  Firstly, who’s fault is it?  Secondly, what can be done about it?

As you know, the country is massively indebted as you are probably aware.  This is hugely the responsibility of the previous Labour government, both in terms of building up a huge public sector, huge spending as if there was no possibility of a rainy day (remember Gordon telling you he had abolished boom and bust?  Ahem), encouragement of the financial sector which is not a bad thing but pretty much at the expense of all other sectors (and terrible regulation), the minimum wage, the culture of dependency and not letting the banks go bankrupt.  The list could go on.

That is the background.

Over the last two years the Coalition government has done various good things which should bear fruit in the long term like cutting corporation tax and reforming planning laws.  However government spending has continued to increase – it hasn’t gone down, all this talk of cuts is quite fanciful.  I am only willing to give the government a rating of 5/10 so far.

The main thing is that I just fundamentally believe that the credit boom and erosion of society and the general well-being of the country, and our place in the world was destroyed to such a great extent that we cannot just get over it like that.  We are arguably in a worse place than we were before the recession.

We need to expand our export markets badly.  The government has made only a half-hearted effort in helping.  Do you know we export more to Ireland than China, India, Brazil and Russia put together?  Ireland is really in the shit economically – the other countries have GDP increases of roughly 4% to 10%.  We need to sell to them!

One only needs to look at Japan – a country that arguably had a larger financial sector boom and bust than we did, back in the late 1980’s and is still suffering for it now – in and out of recession, interest rates at 0.  Very limp growth when not in recession.  But the country survives.  Though Japan does have other things holding it’s economy back, such as a rather older population and very minimal immigration.

Companies that were badly placed to survive the recession or what were on their dying legs such as Woolworths – went bankrupt.  Corporate world is much healthier and I think I am correct in saying that corporations have more cash to spend than ever in real terms (you might want to check that though).

So why won’t they spend?

The question is who is going to buy any extra products that extra staff produce?  The government cannot afford it.  And banks cannot lend any more money to consumers.  And consumers have maxed out their credit cards – and others are saving just in case they lose their jobs.

It is hard to say this but people need to pay for their errors.  Companies paid for their errors.  The Labour Party have paid as they are no longer in government.

But banks didn’t pay for their errors.  We paid for them.  Stupid, absolutely stupid and reckless decision by Gordon Brown and the Labour Party.  Yes, I know it would probably have deepened the recession in the short-term and there may have been some contagion throughout other banks especially in Europe but it isn’t exactly as if Europe is doing any better than us right now – 3 quarters of negative growth now for them – worse than the UK.

And the consumers haven’t paid for their reckless indebtedness.  I know it is easy for Mr don’t even use an overdraft to say but I didn’t contribute to this mess, neither did those who borrowed sensibly, for example mortgages at 3x your earnings.

But those who took out mortgages at reckless levels, yes encouraged by your banks but still your own sodding decision are almost holding the UK economy and savers to gunpoint by having to have interest rates at 0.5%.  Because if interest rates go to 5% or something, then there will be a load of repossessions and this is political hell for the government.  So interest rates will stay very low.  After all the governors of the Bank of England who decide, probably have mortgages to pay too.

But why should I and all the other sensible people, both savers and sensible borrowers pay for the reckless borrowers?  If I had known that reckless decision making would pay, then I would have made reckless decisions.

But I and everyone else now knows that being reckless pays.  Cheers – I’m off to get totally wrecked whilst you all pay off your credit cards, ho ho ho!!

(actually I cannot afford to get wrecked)

Return Of The Rant: Is It Really Worth It?

I think I am having a moment.  Or I am about to have a moment.

Is it really worth it?  Do I really like it?  I’m not luvvin it, lovin’ it or loving it.

I don’t want to say too much as I know I am very good at foot in mouth syndrome and I am well aware from past history that anyone can, and does, read my blog, including the Russian mafia.  And the ex-manager that I referred to as The Internet Gestapo.  Though it did help me towards my eventual redundancy I like to think, which will have pleased Sven.  And The Met Office.  And some shitty US law agency.  And a surprisingly large amount of people based in Kensington.

Unlike Gordon Brown, I don’t have a particular destiny in life…oh to be Gordon Brown and know that your destiny is to be leader of your country.  I know secretly I am a leader, perhaps even the leader – who knows if I turned evil then maybe nuclear Armageddon would come the next day.  But I don’t think that is my calling.  Why do I do what I do every day?  Is there more to life than this?  Those are the questions of the day.  Not, do I want a fucking hot drink when I didn’t ask for one.

If anyone from Hull is reading, they would tell me to shut the fuck up or I’ll get a slap.  People from Hull don’t choose destinies.  They just have them.

Well, I like being different.

But I’m not that different am I?  I do the whole 9-5 thing like everyone else.  And I’m not exactly feeling the love for it this morning.  Oops foot in mouth syndrome again but what am I going to do about it?  Actually I was quite enjoying it but I don’t think they are so appreciative of me, I talk too much.  It isn’t beyond me to be quiet.  I think I can do it.  I have music to listen to which helps massively in keeping me quiet.  Sven, Ricardo, et al can keep me happy.  I don’t need to chat so much shit.

I just remembered that when I was younger, I used to ring random people and when they said hello, I would say goodbye.  Gosh, I was a naughty child.  And then there was when I called and asked to speak to Mr Wall.  When they said there was no Mr Wall, I would ask for Mrs Wall.  And then when they said there was no Mrs Wall, I would ask if there were any walls in the house.  And then when the said no, I would ask what kept their f***ing roof up.

Always the comic genius.

What do I really want in life right now?  I want to go storm chasing in America.  I want to experience the power of the tornado.  And I want to go to Japan.  Don’t ask me why, I just really want to go there.  So I guess I need to work to have any chance of doing either.  Though on my current wages and more importantly extortionate rent and bills (of my own choosing though), I won’t be doing them any time soon.  Unless I stay in every single weekend this year.  Yeah right.

So I guess the beat in my head goes on, life goes on, and I will keep doing what I am doing until I win one of the Rich For Life scratchcards or I find that elusive meaningful thing to do with my life, other than of course following in Sven’s footsteps after he subliminally told me via some cheap tacky Ibiza magazine that I needed to follow my dream and become a DJ and set up a my very own version of Cocoon – and two years later I managed it.  Kind of.  What next?

Anyway, I’ve had my rant, I’ve cleared my mind, two thirds of the world don’t have safe drinking water, 2 million people in the UK don’t have a job that claim to want one, and I can listen to Sven Vath at work all bloody day long.  How many people can say that?

Phew, I feel better now.  Life can go on.  What will be, will be.  Have a nice day, thanks for reading.

Until next time, or until I get sacked, jailed or shot by the Russian mafia a la Anna Politkovskaya.  Oops.  Foot in mouth again.

Oh my word, just 4 weeks until Sven Vath is in London.  Oooooh!  Please someone come with me.  You don’t have to, but it would be nice.  Everything I have heard from him this year shows he is absolutely on fire as much as ever – trust me.  I’m a DJ.

Lent: Pass Or Fail? ;-) ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

You may be aware that I gave up the humble semi-colon for Lent.

It was Easter just gone, in case you didn’t realise, and I am now slowly getting back in the habit of using them.

I think I may have got into trouble with my joking sarcastic manner once or twice on Facebook, etc by not using the 😉

Anyway, enough teasing – so how did I do?

Well, in the final week I think it was, I accidentally hit the ; instead of a ,

I quickly wrote fuck, and apologised but it was done.

However, the week before that, I realised that my e-mail client at both home and work, was separating my recipients with semi-colons when there was more than one recipient, and I could hardly keep sending the same e-mail several times especially when I was at work, so I guess I failed.

Bloody good attempt though.

Free Soap

OK, I did a few silly things at the weekend with my lack of sobriety and it seems writing letters of complaint was one of them.

Free soap though!


Dear Sir I bought a bottle of Cusson’s Carex original handwash soap. I only bought it because it was on special offer at a super market, I have no preferred brand. It slides off my skin before I can apply it all over my hands. I will not be buying it again. I hope you appreciate the feedback. Kind regards James Winfield


Hi-thanks for your email
I’m sorry to learn of your disappointment in our Carex handwash, I’ll pass your comments to our product development team. Please let me have your address so I can send you a complimentary voucher to try another product in our range


Must get back into the swing of complaining – being enjoying life way too much recently.

My Deepest, Darkest Secret

You will likely have been aware for some time of my desire to achieve world domination, though you probably thought that it would come through the form of democracy and capitalism.

Firstly, I have to denounce Margaret Thatcher and all of her policies.

Secondly, I have been secretly plotting, along with the likes of Gordon Brown, and Ken Livingstone, to re-incarnate the Communist Party.

Our mission has now been achieved – there is no longer a Coalition government.

Further to this, I am now the leader of the United Kingdom.

I have banned banks.  All companies are now owned by the communist party.  All workers will now have the same monthly wage of £200.  As this is now a worker’s paradise, everyone will get the Friday off to worship me.  No alcohol will be served on Fridays as this is now the holy day.

Petrol has been banned.  You may still use cars but you must find alternative fuel sources.  All steaks are now possession of the Communist Party.  All subjects of the Communist Party will be entitled to free broad beans, sprouts and miss-sized potatoes on a daily basis to make up for the lack of steak.

All school literature will be re-written to have myself as leader forever, past, present and future.

Margaret Thatcher was just an imaginary character, like Tom & Jerry.

Now, I need to go attend to an important foreign dinner with the luminary of the future, Sir Robert Mugabe, so we can plan the invasion of Germany, and destruction of France.

Bow down to your Communist Leader – Long Live Communism.