Goodbye Detox

So did I manage a month of detox?
Yes.  Kind of.  One minor infraction on the home straight but
we aren’t even talking half a unit of alcohol.
Many doubted me but I knew I would be fine.  I am in a determined kind of mood at the
moment, inspired to achieve my goals especially since I now have Margaret
watching over me.
It was difficult to resist temptation at times.  On the first day in a pub in Shoreditch, I
really wanted a drink to go with Sunday lunch. 
When we had our house Christmas dinner there was wine open in front of
me.  I had a real craving for a glass of
wine but I knew it would be game over if I succumbed.  I didn’t even dare go into a nightclub.
So now it is effectively over, what did I notice?
I didn’t really expect a health boost as I am hardly a
raging alcoholic but I do feel a bit more alive.  I was kind of hoping I might feel like an 18
year-old again.  Alas this is not the
I found it much easier to wake up earlier than I needed to, to
do some studying.  Consequently I did
more studying than for some time, including finishing my DJing website.
Social engagements don’t always require alcohol.  Though they are more fun with stimulation.
My bank balance improved. 
By about £450.  Albeit only to
I didn’t waste any weekend days spending all day in bed
I didn’t really get bored at any point, in fact I had a
busier social life.
I lost a little bit of weight.  Though I actually lost more weight in January!
I have probably been slightly happier – no silent Mondays or
comedown Tuesdays – but very few highs.  Just consistently quite happy – no roller-coasters.
Disappointingly, I farted less.
I quite enjoyed it but I bloody well cannot wait for a beer.
I am going to do this every year from now.  Maybe even twice a year as it is clearly a
good way to save up for something I wouldn’t normally be able to afford – like
a holiday for example.
Anyway it is soon time for a drink and I like breaking rules
so I am going to have a drink before March. 
Fuck it.  My detox.  My rules.  I am amazing.  I love being me.
I would be delighted if anyone joined me in getting well and truly intoxicated tonight.  Especially 10pm to 11:30pm when I shall be playing really sobering minimal at a night which has the d-word in it’s title.

Priorities For Government

I had an e-mail recently from the Tories asking me what my top 3 priorities for this country are.

I think I picked housing, deficit/debt and welfare.  I cannot remember for definite, it doesn’t really matter for this post.

What amused me is that a Labour-voting friend then received something similar a week later:


We are the party of the many.

Ed Miliband and our whole team here are clear: our policies and vision
for Britain must be grounded in the ideas, lives and views of as many
Labour supporters as possible.

As of now, that includes you, ****.

So tell us: which of these national issues do you think is the most
important facing Britain?

Thank you for making the Labour movement stronger by sharing your views
with us.

Best wishes,

Harriet Harman
Deputy Leader of the Labour Party

from Labour HQ emails
. We won’t pass on your email address to anyone
else: see
our privacy policy
. Reproduced from an email sent by the Labour
Party, promoted by and on behalf of the Labour Party at One Brewer’s
Green, London SW1H 0RH.


And yes that is what the e-mail looked like.  A 3-year old could design something better.

But most importantly have you noticed what the Labour Party don’t think is a national issue?


Yes the world-famous deficit denying party does not think it is an issue.

Labour = More Debt.

Facing Up To My Deepest Fear

There is one thing in this world that I fear even more than erectile disfunction and that is another Labour government.

Sadly for me, and those who don’t enjoy recessions, this is a possibility in 2015, according to the polls.

Yes, these men could be running the country.


But every cloud has a silver lining or two:

1. David Cameron wouldn’t be the leader of the Conservative Party any more.  Either Gideon or Boris would.  Boris.  Yes, Boris could be on the next step of the ladder to World Leader.

2. Erm, more debt, more recession, more misery, more lies, more deceit.  Maybe just one silver lining then.  Unless you are a banker that is good at betting on economic downfalls.

I guess I could go live in another country.  I don’t think I can handle another 5 years of the country I love being destroyed.

Be afraid.

Lower Inflation – When To Worry?

So inflation has reduced again, now to 1.9%.
Taken as good news – prices are therefore rising at a
slightly lower rate than a month ago. 
They may even soon be rising at less than wages are.
But at what point does a reduction in inflation become bad
Deflation has to be something for the Bank of
England to cautiously watch for.  You may think deflation –
falling prices – is a good thing.
However, if prices are falling, consumers and firms put off
purchases in the expectations that prices will fall further, and firms will
then have to reduce prices more, less is produced, less is purchased, there is
less requirement for employment and voila – you have a recession.
This is especially pertinent with the consumer-led recovery
that we are experiencing in the UK.
Japan’s economy since the early 1990’s is a very interesting case in which we should follow.  They are only just getting out of their deflationary spiral.  There is a very interesting section on the Wikipedia page about Japan.
There is a way that the Bank of England can increase
inflation which is to reduce interest rates. 
Well, that is if there was any room to lower them, which at 0.5% there
isn’t.  Not effectively anyway.  Or print yet more money.
Or the government can borrow more and go on a spending spree
to stimulate the economy out of deflation. 
Except we have a horrendous debt as it is and it isn’t proven to reverse deflation.
It could get rather interesting in a year or two if
inflation continues to fall.  Fingers
crossed it stabilises.  Below 1% and time to get concerned.

To The One I Love Most In The World…

If I cannot treat the one I love most in the whole world today, when can I?

Yes two Sirloin steaks for the bargain price of £4 all for myself.

If you are a hot chick reading this, don’t even think about worming your way into my Valentine’s plans tonight, I wouldn’t even share them in exchange for a blow job.

I did have a little love for those around me so I bought my colleagues some Love Hearts.

And finally I treat myself to a very overpriced bit of heart-shaped chocolate with little bits on it that are all over the floor near my desk and will be until the lease is up on this office building and they owners need to find new tenants, as we don’t have cleaners (except for the toilets which I guess is kind of useful).

Kisses and hugs if you are hot, handshakes if not xxx

The Detox

The aim is for all of February – no intoxicants, not even
Why the fuck am I doing a detox?  I used to be a proper party animal.  Friday to Sunday – Mango, after-party, pub
breakfast, all day session, quick shower, Mango, after-party, Sunday lunch
beers and finally to bed for a 14 hour sleep before work.  Always going out, always clubbing, always
partying.  Granted I am too old and eminently sensible for that
kind of regime now!
I have come to the conclusion that after nearly 20 years of
drinking every weekend, normally heavily (though less so in recent years), my
body and my internal organs may appreciate a rest.
There are other reasons too.
I need to finish paying back my overdraft.
I want to spend more time on web design and studying for it.
More time for catching up with non-clubbing friends.
Can I do it?
I think it will be fairly easy for the first half of the
month but temptation will increasingly irritate me and I reckon the last two
weekends will be difficult.
I have never gone more than 7-10 days without a drink since
about the age of 15 (maybe except the time at college when I had severe
pneumonia, but then I had steroids so that doesn’t really count…oh they were good!).
So it is also a challenge, a change of behavioural patterns.  I am confident that I will achieve my goal.
I am hoping to feel good at the end of it but I am kind of
expecting to ironically end up with severe manful, headaches, leprosy and trench
Maybe I will love sobriety and never drink again?
Ha ha ha.

The End Of The End Of The World Hole

Back in December 2012 when those wise scribes who believe
everything on the internet, but nothing from the likes of government,
scientists, etc, were predicting the end of the world I was convinced that nothing
would happen.
Imagine my shock the next day when I found this hole on a
grass verge near where I live.  Clearly a
lucky escape from some kind of meteorite.
Or was it?  Were we
doomed to some kind of poisonous radiation seeping into the atmosphere and
sending the local residents crazy?
It does seem now that the danger is over as Reading Council
have deemed it safe enough for their workers to fill the hole, finally.
But was I imperilled for those 13 months?  Did the planting of trees and the resurfacing
of the pavement mitigate the radiation levels?
It was a good job that Reading Council put up the council
tax by 2% last year, ignoring the government council tax freeze and the likely
resident preferences to be able to take this action.
Tax and spend.  Yeah, it’s a Labour council.  Useless tossbags.

A Day In London With No Beer

I like to extend my birthday celebrations as long as possible, so 10 days after my actual birthday I headed to London to meet my sister.  Shoreditch, to be exact.  On day 2 of my detox, to be exact.  Much more sober than those asking me for money.  I don’t give to those begging on the street and certainly will not be contributing to their merriment if I am not allowed.  Rant over.

First stop was a roast.  It was National Yorkshire Pudding Day so I had an extra Yorkshire Pudding and they were the best.

I wanted to have the beef but alas, it was cooked in ale.  This detox malarky really is dull isn’t it?  It is pork belly in case you cannot tell.

Next up was to fulfil a long held dream.  For nearly a year I have dreamt of going to the Emirates.  No, not that football stadium full of nobheads who don’t know what real football is.

The Emirates Cable Cars.

It rocked.  From side to side.

We followed this with a walk around the Millenium Dome – my mate at work, Steve, reckons that there is this really upcoming musician called Taylor Swift so we went to get a photo with her to make him jealous.

One for the credibility bank I reckon.

Then we decided to downgrade a bit.  Guess where we are?

Yes you got it, the Tate Modern.  Just how good is this piece of art?  I took some flash photography in an attempt for our misery to be cut short (being on a detox I cannot do drugs in front of the security).

Alas we did not get thrown out, 15 minutes of being a dickhead was enough so it was time to find a scone.  Pronounced SCONE.  Not SCON.

Just look how artistically laid out that is.