As you may be aware, I have been developing my capacity to travel into space. I wrote to you some time ago to complain about my teleport machine rejecting the rotten strawberries that I had purchased from you. You were kind enough to refund the cost of said strawberries.
My teleport machine, however, does not get me into space – it can only handle earth-teleportation as gravity has to be calibrated to the exact constant to be able to deliver without defect.
I have recently been developing a leaf-powered rocket. Now I am some way off being able to travel to space, however I was hoping to use it today for my first ever flight to Bracknell, which you may be aware also has various extra-terrestrial beings within its confines.
But imagine my disappointment when I took out my rocket leaves from the fridge this morning and realised that they were totally soaked. They had been in my fridge since delivery on Friday night, they were unopened but now they are totally unusable for rocket-fuel. Plus they smell.
Please can you ensure future rocket-fuel is still viable until the expiry date.
If you have any suggestions for longer-lasting leaves to use in my rocket that would be appreciated.
Dear Mr Winfield
Thank you for your email about your recent order. We only want to deliver great quality products so I am sorry that the rocket salad was of such poor quality. I can appreciate the disappointment this has caused you.
Our fresh produce should be continually rotated and replaced with the latest deliveries to our stores, giving our colleagues access to the freshest items. They are trained to select those products with the longest shelf life.
We expect our colleagues to take care when selecting your shopping and to pick items they would be happy to receive themselves. I realise we let you down on this occasion. I have passed your comments on to the online manager, who will speak with our colleagues that shopped for your order and instruct them to take better care with all future online deliveries.
I have sent an evoucher for £5 to your email address to cover the cost of this itme plus an additional amount as a goodwill
We appreciate the time you have taken to contact us and hope to see you online soon.