Ahhh I should be sat in a beer garden right now, sun-kissed, slightly drunk, wondering if the Met line will develop a signal failure and a tinge of annoyance from yet another average roast dinner.
Yet my complaints are trivial. People have lost their lives. People have lost love ones. People have lost jobs. People will lose their jobs once furlough expires. And we will all have a host of problems from the upcoming economic crisis.
I could say that I am lucky – I am in some respects though with respects to my job, I chose my career change wisely and worked bloody hard. My current economic resilience was planned.
So I think the title of this post will be rather misleading. I like the name “Corona Moaner”, yet I don’t think moaning will be the main theme of this post – though I don’t especially have a plan…I just need to type. I also spent far too long deciding whether it should be “Corona Moaner” or “Coronamoaner”. Did I choose correctly?
Without doubt I’m enjoying life less than I was. I record my happiness score on a daily basis (I have waaaaaay too many spreadsheets) – my current average is around 4.5, whereas April/May last year it was close to 6. A score of 5 is absolutely fine, by the way – so anything above is good. This week last year averaged a 7 – though I guess that was when I got offered my new job…one of those days I was in Luton too…ahhh being able to visit Luton, those were the days.
Mostly I am just getting on with things – I was really quite anxious and perhaps a bit stressed at first, but that has all subsided. I’m often quite chirpy, I do a lot more talking to empty rooms than normal, and it is a pleasure to have my housemate around.
Yet I do have occasional moments of gloom – like the other day when I was working, and I realised that I was probably going to be stuck in Harrow for at least a couple more months without being able to go anywhere. It’s OK around here – I used to live in Bracknell so I’m always feeling blessed whenever I recall that year of my life. Yet I want to be in London. I miss the streets of central London and the warm concrete and glass hug that it gave me.
I feel rather wistful when I view even the most dismal and damp scenes of the city I love.
It’s also annoying timing. I’d just done my quiet months – weekends of staying in, defrosting the freezer, cleaning cupboards, tidying up my websites – I was ready to get out and enjoy my life once more. Though I’m thankful that I managed to see my parents in Hull on the last normal weekend. That really was quite good timing – often I would have waited until Easter to visit.
Yet despite the pause on my social life – and I did allow an early end to my detox to compensate, the situation isn’t too bad for me. Some things are actually better – namely work, and being able to work from home every day. Yeah, no signal failures.
I can wake up naturally. I eat much healthier, at least during the week – no recourse to bacon sandwiches having suffering from a painful commute. No chocolate bars after lunch to try to perk myself up from a post-lunch slumber in a stuffy office. I feel that I am more productive, and able to concentrate better – though that is no surprise to me. I haven’t lost weight since lockdown – but normally I lose weight during my detox then quickly put it back on. I haven’t put any back on – though I still need to get back to being more active to restart losing weight.
I’ve also taken the time to start investing in the stock market. The crash was the signal that I needed to invest, and so far I’m up around 10% – though I take nothing for granted and am not risking anything I cannot afford to.
So this whole situation looks like it will benefit my career, my finances and my health – assuming I don’t catch the damn virus, as I am obese and obese people seem to be more at risk.
I am also trying to do a bit of good in my own way. I’m not a clapper – you wouldn’t really imagine me joining in a mass-participation event would you? But I do try to put a smile on people’s faces where I can on social media, I try to check in with friends occasionally. I am trying to keep spending money, with small businesses where possible – I have had way too many veg boxes delivered. And I am trying to give more to charity – my goal is to give away 50% of my usual travel expenses, preferably to smaller charities whenever I hear about them.
I am now at the stage where I am over lockdown. I feel the risk is now minimal for transmitting the virus, at least in London, and we should be allowed to go back to pubs and restaurants, for example, albeit booked in advance and with social distancing, plastic screens, no sharing toilet cubicles, etc.
I’m not Piers Corbyn level, but I am starting to get a bit agitated about how long this lockdown is going on for…I do feel from reading the available evidence that things can be relaxed more than they currently are. From walking around my local area in exactly the same route as I do every fucking day, I am clearly not the only one ready to relax.
Would be funny if Jeremy Corbyn was Prime Minister right now, enacting the lockdown, and his brother was campaigning against, wouldn’t it? Except for the bit about Jeremy Corbyn being Prime Minister.
That wasn’t too Corona Moany was it? I am certainly blessed to be in my position – yet I can and do still miss my old life, and being able to walk the streets of London, visit a pub for a beer and have a shoddy roast dinner.
And I miss humans. Friends, family and randoms.