I should be at Cocoon In The Park right now, having a brilliant experience.
I have a ticket but the cost of the trains and hotel that were required made it prohibitive.
It hurts. Yes I could have gone and used my overdraft and repaid it later. That isn’t my style.
I am pissed off with myself for my inability to save and my whimsical pursuit of short-term pleasures.
Which led me onto lots more negative thoughts about being a failure in life.
Where the fuck did that come from?!
Anyway, reality has returned, James is different nowadays anyway as he does need to achieve some goals.
All will be good, I will just ride out this disappointment in myself (I do set high expectations) and use this unexpected low point as a source of inspiration.
Maybe the sun got to me. I am still the best weather forecaster in Reading. Oh do hurry up thunderstorm.
Shit, I just got all emotional. I’m ok. Honest! Just a teeny wobbler.