Each year I plan less and less in the way of celebrating my brilliance. Before I turned 30, I wanted to do 30 parties for being 30 (I didn’t bother – but if you knew me back then you will know I was never sober). Most years I try to go to fabric, or do something in London, go clubbing, organise a party – whatever but I never let it pass quietly.
I’m hardly letting it pass quietly this year with a birthday roast for me and several of my adored friends on Sunday and a tour of Peckham on Saturday daytime with two more of my favourite delights.
But for my actual birthday – today – I thought I would try to keep it low-key.
I was just planning on doing my weather forecast and making myself a nice but easy meal.
I spent nearly 3 days trying to work out what to eat. I had a dream the other night that I was in bed with a hot girl (nobody in particular), in a house that I used to live in around 13 years ago. The next thing I know, there is a load of banging at the other end of my room and 8 illegal immigrants break through the in-built cupboard from the (non-existent) loft – one explains to me in broken English that they now live there and need to access it through my room.
I wasn’t impressed so I called my landlord and he turned up in a lorry and I really struggled to get his attention, finally he came into the house and his only solution was to rack up a big fat line of cocaine.
That was the end of my dream but I really enjoyed it. Suffice to say that I won’t be in bed with any hot girls tonight, nor will I be doing any cocaine, however I am getting a short but sweet visit from my dearest immigrant and I have finally decided what I am going to cook myself.
Fully back off the tangent, I dismissed the ideas of a pie or a big fat roast as I’m trying to lose weight and I will be eating enough. I considered salmon and lamb dishes but have finally come up with the genius idea of steak with peppercorn sauce. And curly fries. Not sure I can afford fillet steak but will at least treat myself to sirloin. And sprinkle some Herbes Du Provence on the top.
Other than that it shall be suitably low-key – a glass of wine or two with my very most dearest beloved friend (two for me anyway). And my weather forecast.
I didn’t get the opportunity to keep it low-key at work. We don’t really celebrate birthdays at work however there was a bit of a fuss made of me, I guess because I am amazing and my dear colleagues…actually my dear friends that I work with, bought me this extra special cake.
I will be eating the part with her mouth.
I also have the original pop-art produced by my friend’s boyfriend. Pretty damn special.
And my second-favourite Spaniard bought me a Spanish cookbook. Written by the exceptionally Spanish, Richard Cornish. Yo hablo Espanol y yo cocino Espanol. Bring on the Spanish women in Ibiza with my new-found skills to impress them.