Today, as I mark what normally feels on a Monday as 60 years as your King, I am writing to thank you for the wonderful support and encouragement that you have given to me and my dancing feet over these years and to tell you how deeply moved we have been to receive so many wicked house music beats about the diamond jubilee.
In this year of specialness depending on drought conditions, as I dedicate myself anew to your service, I hope that we will all be reminded of the power of togetherness on the dancefloor and the convening strength of clubbing families, 1-hour friendships and good neighbourliness when we leave venues, examples of which I have been fortunate to see throughout my reign as King and which my clubbing family and I look forward to seeing in many strange, obscure forms as we travel throughout the nightclubs and festivals of the UK and the wider Commonwealth (Ibiza and Berlin are part of the Commonwealth are they not, my dears?).
I hope also that this jubilee year will be a time to give thanks for the great advances that have been made since the Paradise Garage era, especially Funktion One soundsystems, and to look forward to the future without clear heads every single weekend and overly warm hearts as we join together in our celebrations.
I send my sincere good wishes to you all and look forward to getting trashed on a dancefloor soon, dear subjects.
Roll on the 900 horse pageant.