A lack of human contact is not good for the soul, certainly not my soul anyway.
Monday’s are rarely my favourite day of the week, unless I have had a really good weekend. And I most certainly did not. Shit weekends = shit moods.
I now feel inspired to commit random acts of violence, or at least vandalism, however I expect that my current level of lethargy can only lead to having a moan.
After all, this is what I have my blog for. That and weather forecasts, but more people read my moans than my weather forecasts.
So this is a list of the trivial things that have pissed me off today:
1. My 6am alarm clock. Like I was going to get up at that time you fool given that I haven’t got out of bed before 07:40am in weeks.
2. My 6:20am alarm clock. Like I was going to get up at that time you pillock given that I haven’t got out of bed before 07:40am in weeks.
3. My 6:40am alarm clock. Like I was going to get up at that time you arsehole given that I haven’t got out of bed before 07:40am in weeks.
4. My 7:00 alarm clock. Seriously need to punch myself.
5. My 7:20 alarm clock. Would be useful to get up now so I am not late for work.
6. My 7:30 alarm clock and the fact that it will not fucking shut up.
7. My 7:40 alarm clock. Fucking arseholes, bastards. Can I say the C-word for the first time on my blog?
8. State of my kitchen…and flat in general.
9. Me again. I didn’t bother to get any food. Oh the fridge is fucked anyway.
10. The number 4 bus to take me to work just 3 minutes walk from my house being axed.
11. A 15 minute walk to the station.
12. No apple and pork sausage rolls left.
13. Being late for work. Arsehole.
14. The arsehole that filled up his 20-litre bottle of water for 15 minutes whilst I waited to fill my small glass up.
15. Severe lack of hugs, love and human contact.
16. Current level of sobriety.
17. Distinct lack of funds.
18. Who put that table in the walk-way forcing me to take a 10-secnond detour? Twat.
19. And now I have hiccups.
20. I have run out of staples and the stationary office is 5 minutes walk away.
I would apologise for moaning, but I have been ignoring my frustrations recently and therefore been in relatively good moods so it is long overdue and if you don’t like it then fight me. I will vandalise your face. I will ransack your face. And then throw my shoes at you.
I now hope to find an excuse for a large intake of alcohol at the first available opportunity. Or vandalism. Or drunken vandalism…hmm.