1 Wolves – Tough decision, but my friend Shaun supports them and they have a very similar colour kit to Hull so I think they will win. Oh and they seem to have kept their best players.
2 Brighton – Gus Poyet is a very smart man and I can see him getting Brighton promoted. Some impressive signings.
3 Blackburn – They’ve signed some good players like Nuno Gomes (he sounds good anyway from the name) and I think it is the year of the chicken, so they will do well but sack their manager when they are top during the middle of the season because the India Times will have miss-typed them as 19st instead of 1st.
4 Blackpool – I am a big fan of Ian Holloway, he deserves to be in the Premiership so we hear more of his nuggets of wisdom, and I think he will win the play-offs.
5 Birmingham – They did well last year despite all the extra games in the Europe, and Lee Clark is a good young manager.
6 Middlesborough – I am surprised they fell away last season. Lots of tall players.
7 Cardiff – Craig Bellamy. For some reason I always find it funny when Cardiff suffer disaapointment and I predict they will miss out on the play-offs by one goal.
8 Notts Forest – I think they are owned by Kuwait so all the oil on the pitch will give them an unbeaten record at home, but they will find it too cold away.
9 Bolton – My sister has been to Bolton.
10 Huddersfield – As long as they can keep Jordan Rhodes then they will do respectably well, Anthony Gerrard in defence too who did well at Hull on loan.
11 Hull City – We now have Steve Bruce as manager and Alex Bruce in defence. I don’t like change though, and I don’t think we will do as well as we expect to. We might have wasted £2.5m on second division striker. A German second division striker. Second season under Bruce will see promotion as long as he doesn’t say anything to upset the owners.
12 Derby – Mid table decency for a young team.
13 Burnley – Have you been to Burnley? It’s a proper shithole. Awful roads. Who built a town here? However they are tough to beat. Hull City always lose against them.
14 Crystal Palace – I don’t know much about them but my mate Wayne supports them so I cannot relegate them. I don’t think the Premiership suits them, unless P. Diddy buys them but he is too interested in partying at DC10.
15 Watford – My mate Ben supports them. So I would like to see them to only slightly less well than Hull. Zola is manager so they will do less well than Hull.
16 Charlton – Early momentum should see them through.
17 Millwall – I went past Millwall’s ground on the train the other day. Wow. What an area. Sadly I do not see relegation.
18 Sheffield Wednesday – Who puts a day of the week in their name? Monday Winfield? Doesn’t work does it? And Nick Clegg lives here.
19 Ipswich – They deserve to escape relegation for relasing that sewer rat, Jimmy Bullard. I shouldn’t be so nice to sewer rats should I? Wait a minute, am I Neil Warnock?
20 Peterborough – I went to Peterborough once as an away fan. We had bricks thrown at our coach.
21 Barnsley – They might still dig coal there so I think they will just about dig themselves out of trouble.
22 Bristol City – They are still upset after Hull City beat them in the play-off final a few years back so will struggle. Lots of odd people in Bristol. And that accent?
23 Leicester City – Scumbags. Scumbag manager who lied to Hull fans and keeps trying to sign our best players.
24 Leeds United – In football terms, I hate Leeds. Realistically they will finish top half but I refuse to accept that because it will be through cheating so upon expectation of them being deducted 50 points or going bankrupt, I will place them bottom. I hate Warnock too. He called Diouf a sewer rat, and has now signed him. As a good Hull Citty blog said, “he would sign Fred West if he thought it would help”.
And there you have it. Fact.