My Life As We Know It Is Over

See link in title and below complaint:

Dear Sir

I am totally distraught to hear that you are changing the recipe of Heinz Ketchup – and not only that, but to be doing it on the sly.

Whilst my life does not revolve around ketchup, and I feel that I would still be able to live some kind of existance (thanks to gravy), I will have to take measures to limit the impact.

I have tried a reduced salt version from yourselves and it was definitely reduced enjoyment. In fact I would go to say that it was distinctly disappointing.

I will either be looking into getting a bank loan to get as much as possible, or if this is not possible then I will have to investigate the other brands on the market.

Not only that, I have noticed a significant increase in the cost recently, and also noticed that I am seemingly unable to get a top-down bottle any more.

I am very distraught to hear this most disturbing news.

I hope you can find it in your hearts to reverse this most revolting decision.

Regards
James Winfield