Complaint: Tesco Avocados

Sometimes it takes a bit of work to get a refund…or just to find common cause with your refunder:

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Dear Tesco

I am generally not a fan of your food quality – some will call me a snob, but I am from up north so not entirely sure that is something that can be aimed at me.

Anyway, I actually quite like your avocados, and go through several a week.  Well, I normally like your avocados.

Over the last month, I have had two pretty horrid, soft and close to inedible avocados from your Rayner’s Lane store.

I will keep buying them from there, as the good ones far outweigh the bad, however I have not been left amused by the quality – I live in London and need my avocados.  Do you not understand?

Also, your store sometimes smells of poo.  Actual poo.  This has been only on occasion this year, but last year it was fairly consistent.

Any idea why?

Kind regards
James Avocado Winfield

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Dear Mr Winfield

Thank you for your email.
I am sorry to read of the problems which you have encountered, when purchasing advocados from your local store. I can appreciate how annoying this must have been for you, especially as the some of the advocado’s have been of poor quality and the store seems to have an unpleasent odour.

We’re committed to sourcing our products responsibly and take the quality of all of the products we sell very seriously. Any complaint about a product is recorded which allows us to work with our suppliers to ensure that our products are of the highest quality.

In order for me to ensure that this is done, I’d be very grateful if you could reply to me with some details, which I’d like to pass on to our supplier with your permission. Could you tell me:

– Your full postal address – Your telephone number – Product barcode – Cost of the product – Use by/best before date – Supplier code –

Our technical teams work closely with our suppliers to alert them to any product concerns and ensure that the highest standards are being met. Unfortunately, it does appear that something went wrong on this occasion, but we hope you’ll be reassured to know the information you have given us will help us to stop this from happening again.

Upon receipt of these additional details, I would also be happy to send you a Tesco Moneycard to reimburse you for the cost of the product.

Also, please can you advise me which store you purchased the advocados from? As I would like to raise your complaint about the strong odour circulating the store.
Thanks again for taking the time to tell us about this. I look forward to your reply.

Kind regards

Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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Hi

Gosh I don’t remember what date I bought them on, let alone what the barcode was!  It’s a struggle to remember my name sometimes.

They were in the loosely supplied section, so had no sell-by date.  The store is the one close to Rayner’s Lane tube station.  One occasion was a couple of weeks ago (they all felt out of date actually, the one I bought I hoped less so…alas), the other occasion in December.

My address is below and my phone number is xxxxxxxxxxx.  I hope that helps.

Kind regards

James

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Dear Mr Winfield

Thank you for your reply and please accept my sincere apologies for the delay in my response.

Sadly, I have been unable to reach the store by phone. I have therefore sent your feedback to the store, regarding the smell in store. So, hopefully this can be resolved as soon as posisble.

In addition, I am sorry that the packaging is no longer available for the advocado’s. As you can appreciate that we would require the barcode number, in order to feed your comments back to the relevent Supplier and also provide a refund.

Going forward, should you experience any further quality issues with the products which you purchase from us, please return this to store along with your receipt.

Thank you for contacting me and for bringing this to my attention.

Kind regards

Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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Dear xxxx

I am not sure that you have understood my previous e-mail.

The avocados in the store are sold loose.  They have never had any packaging as such.  This is fine.

However what is not acceptable is when they are inedible – ie sold when they are clearly out of date.

This is surely a Tesco store management issue as opposed to a supplier issue?

Regards
James

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Dear James

Thank you for your email reply.

xxxx is out of the business so please allow me to respond in her absence.

If the avocados are coming into the store in this condition, then xxxx is right in believing it is a supplier issue.  Staff are trained to check stock periodically to ensure anything that is not fit for consumption is removed whenever possible.  Loose fruit and vegetables is certainly something the staff are able to keep an eye on as they don’t contain any outer packaging as you’ve stated.

Usually even loose products will contain an Oval shape type sticker with some supplier details.  This would have been helpful to xxxx, but I realise you’ve now thrown everything away so this is not possible to take from you.

With that said, I can see that xxxx has made the store fully aware of your concerns and especially in regards to the odour you’ve experienced whilst shopping there.  This is being investigated behind the scenes to help ensure any future visit is a pleasant one.  If not, please do ask to speak with an in-store Duty Manager.

As we have no supplier details or product to have returned to the store, it is very difficult to refund you for these.  If you had photos of the supplier’s sticker, along with any photos showing the poor quality, we would have been able to help.

Please rest assured that it’s never our intention to frustrate or disappoint any customer at any time.  However, I do hope the above explains why I’m unable to meet your expectations on this occasion.

If you still feel a refund is in order, I would kindly suggest speaking with the store’s Duty Manager on your next usual visit.  Please do take along your till receipt to help them assist you further.

Thank you for your time and if there is anything else we can do to help, please do let us know.

Kind regards

Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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A week or so later…

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Dear xxxx

I appreciate that you are probably thinking, “thank **** we shut him up”, but just like a bad smell, or perhaps Nigel Farage, I am back.

So I’ve bought another avocado from the local Tesco Express store so that I can send you a photograph of the barcode.  I appreciate that it isn’t exactly the same sticker as the two badvocados had, but I expect that it is exactly the same barcode.

I don’t really know why I am persisting with this, but I do feel that there is a slight soon-to-be-denied lack of trust towards what I am saying, and that you perhaps feel that as I am a northerner, I cannot possibly be eating something as healthy as an avocado.  Don’t worry, I will consume large volumes of bacon, beer and cocaine as soon as possible.

Alas, I am stuck with my morose feelings of incompleteness from two well below standard avocados – and now another one which I haven’t opened yet, but should be ok.  But there is that element of trepidation.

I should probably just leave it here and not still be banging on about it, I could just avoid shopping at Tesco for a few weeks to give myself some vague satisfaction that I am sticking it to the multi-national corporation for allowing two bad avocados to be purchased.  I am sure that you will miss my average monthly spend of around £31.54 as much as we missed Nigel Farage not being on the news last week.

Anyway, photograph of barcode pointlessly attached.

I look forward to your corporate platitudes in return.

Kindish regards

James

ps If you get bored on your lunch break, I do a fine collection of roast dinner reviews on my blog – http://rdldn.co.uk/

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Dear James

Thank you for your further email and my profuse apologies for the week taken to reply.  I was offer for a few days and unfortunately the email wasn’t picked up by a colleague.

With that said, I’ve now arranged for a £10.00 Tesco Moneycard to be sent to you in the post.  This should arrive within the next 5 – 10 working days.  I’ve also notified the supplier for internal purposes, sp rest assured that they’ve been informed of your experience behind the scenes.

It’s been a pleasure to help and if there is anything else I can do to help James, please do let me know.

Kind regards

Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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Dear xxxx

Thank you for your e-mail and your kind offer of compensation – I only wanted £2.20 but hey, I won’t say anything if you don’t.

Slightly bad timing though as I was fishing around for things to give up for Lent yesterday.

In previous years I have given up paper clips, zebra crossings and trimming my eyebrows.  It gets more difficult to think of suitable things to give up for Lent – it always kind of slaps me in the face when I’m not expecting it – and you’d have thought that they would have had it on a different week to Valentine’s Day, but hey ho.  Hopefully they’ll look into the timing issue for next year.

Anyway, so I was waiting quite a long time to use the self-service machines yesterday – not your fault, just some very slow people in front of me, when it dawned on me – I should give up Tesco for Lent.

Oh well, I’m committed to it now.  Though last year I gave up talking about Brexit for Lent, which didn’t last very long.

I look forward to having a Tesco avocado feast in early April.

All the best
James

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Conclusion – all you need to do is show your contempt for Nigel Farage to get your own way.

Complaint: Tesco & Some Crap Chicken

Actually a recent complaint this one!

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Dear Tesco

Gosh do I have a 1,000 character limit? Wish me luck on that.

One night recently, I was drunk. Do you have one of those annoying friends that starts every story with “I was really drunk”? I’m going to have to get to the point pretty quickly here, aren’t I?

So, I was drunk. And the last two times I had been to Chicken Cottage on the way home, I ended up with 4 pieces of dry, over-cooked, miserable southern fried chicken.

Being drunk, I came up with an idea – lets go to Tesco. And I bought a pack of Shazans Peri Peri Chicken Thighs.

Yes I managed to stay awake for the 45 minutes to cook them but I wish I hadn’t. It was even harder to find any chicken on the chicken thighs than it is at Nando’s (I tend to pour their peri-peri sauce into my drink to get my money’s worth).

This was the most horrid, stringy, underfed chicken I have had in a long time. An absolutely awful product. Erm, very bad.

(You can imagine what a nightmare Twitter is for me).

Kind regards
Jame

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Hi James

Thank you very much for taking the time to e-mail us.

To be fair, that was a pretty dramatic story, I’m sorry to hear our chicken proved to be the antagonist.

I don’t suppose you still have the packaging, do you? If so, we can take some information from the packaging and refer them to our suppliers. This may help them determine how to improve the product in future.

Furthemore, if you don’t have the packaging then don’t worry. I’d rather you concentrate on ploughing through your hangover instead of routing through your bins on our behalf.

Either way, if you’d be kind enough to reply with the details of your full postal address I’d be more than happy to send you out a £5.00 Tesco Moneycard for the inconvenience.

Thanks again, and I look forward to your reply.

Kind regards

James
Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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Ahh a fellow James!

Do you ever wonder why more footballers do not have a first name of James?  Do you think there is something about the name James that makes one inherently useless at football?

I can confirm that I am useless at football.

My address is in my signature, and my photographs of the label are attached.

Kind regards
James

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Hi James

Thanks for your reply.

That’s a massive coincidence, as I have no clue, or interest (which ultimately makes me also useless at) football.

I don’t think it’s a superstition you should take too seriously though. I’ve queried this with some of the colleagues in my office who are familiar with ‘playing at ball’, and they’ve asked me to remind you of some of the modern greats, including James Milner, James Rodriguez (AKA Hamas), and don’t forget the famous Jimmy Bullard.

Also, I’ve now sent you out a £5.00 Tesco Moneycard for the inconvenience

Kind regards

James
Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

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Hi James

Thank you for the wake-up call this morning, it was very sweet.

However having now read your e-mail, I am shocked to read that you are comparing such a nugget of disgrace that is Jimmy Bullard, with legends like James Milner.  Calling Jimmy Bullard a footballer is like calling Jimmy Savile a DJ.  He was however very good at picking up a very large weekly wage whilst injured at Hull City AFC and spending it all on cocaine and beer.  Whilst I have no problem with people spending their wages on cocaine and beer – it is not exactly as if every penny I earn is spent on avocado and charity donations, Jimmy Bullard was supposed to be representing the great football club that is Hull City AFC and supposed to be recuperating from a serious knee injury – yet he decided it was best to spend Hull City AFC’s time any money sharing toilet cubicles with other men [allegedly says my lawyer].

I know that you were only trying your best, and have clearly been misled by your colleagues – your knowledge of football seems to be similar to my knowledge of pop music.

But please do understand, Jimmy Bullard is not one of us.  He is a Jimmy, like Savile, not a James.  Well, not quite like Savile, but a man…neigh…boy of disrepute.

Have a good weekend (or a good Monday)

Shabba.

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Hi James

Thanks for your reply, sorry to wake you when I rang.

My colleague seemed horrified that you had so many negative things to say about Jimmy Bullard. I’m starting to feel like a middle man.

You’re right that I have absolutely no knowledge of football, which is something I’m quite proud of!

I’m not a fan of sports in general, my passion at the moment is wrestling. Wrestling is the physical endeavour of a real man. The more spandex, the better.

Thanks again for taking the time to contact us. I also enjoyed your YouTube video about eating pancakes with gravy. I took the time to give you your second ‘like’, and left a comment. Now I should probably do some work.

Kind regards

James
Tesco Customer Service
Tesco Customer Engagement Centre

Complaint: Tesco Scratchcard

From 2014:

Dear Sir

I went to your Tesco Express branch on Monday evening just gone to purchase two scratchcards.

However when I got to the till, I was advised that they were already locked up for the evening.

I could perhaps understand if it were 10:55pm however it was 8:30pm.

The store was open for another 2 and a half hours.

I appreciate the efforts of your store to refrain me from gambling, however these were gifts for my housemate and my sister for their birthdays.

Thankfully President Mubarrak at the M&S garage across the road was very keen to serve me and wished me good luck with them.

However one has already lost and if the one for my sister loses, I would like to know how you are going to recompense the forced misfortune upon my housemate and sister, not to mention the inconvenience of having to cross the road an extra occasion.

I await your response.

Good luck.  Or not.
James

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Dear Mr Winfield,

Thank you for contacting us.

I am very sorry that you were unable to purchase the two scratch cards at our Tilehurst Road Express as you had hoped, I understand how frustrated you must have been when you had to purchase them from another store instead.

I have been in touch with *****, the Deputy Manager of the store and she has explained that the scratch cards should be available to purchase up until just before closing time so they often start packing away around 10:40 pm.

As ***** was not working on Monday she is unsure why you were advised that the scratch cards were locked away and unavailable for sale but she has assured me that she will investigate this and the staff who were working on Monday and do everything in her power to stop it from happening again.

Once again I am very sorry that you couldn’t buy your housemate and sister’s birthday presents due to them being locked away but I am confident that this shouldn’t happen again. I hope that your sister’s scratch card is a winner though so good luck!
Thanks again for contacting us and if there is anything else I can do for you, please reply to this email.  Alternatively, you could call us on 0800 505555/0330 123 4055, quoting reference number: 17456488, where my colleagues will also be more than happy to assist.

Kind regards

abc xyz
Tesco Customer Service

A Little Bit Annoyed!

I seem to have become a little bit angry and annoyed recently.

Last night, I wrote to Morrisson’s to demand that they start to open local convenience stores as I am really starting to despise Tesco Express monopoly shops which sell over-priced and shit food.  Though I did buy some tulips yesterday for 50p.  Ahem.

I then went on to send another letter of disappointment to a trade union, Unison, which has apparently threatened war – this I take offence to.

I think I need to become a bit more active politically.

I will let you know if I get a response from either.

I Want A Good Job More Than A Blonde

So I decided that at 10:45pm on the day before a job interview that I would go to Tesco just before it shut, not for alcohol, but for chocolate.  I have a chocolate craving.  How odd.  This keeps happening to me at the moment late at night – is this normal?

Anyway, standing in the queue, minding my own business, two drunk and fairly attractive young ladies in front of me (the sort that would be far more attractive if they weren’t so obsessed with fake tan, fake hair, way overdone make-up, you know the sort), one turns around and says “hey sexy, what are you listening to?”.

Why does this opportunity have to be presented right now?  Why not last Friday night?  Or Thursday night?  Or Saturday evening?

Of course I advised her that I was listening to some minimal techno, and went on to ask her if she listened to it and what her favourite producers were, she pretended to like it…

Any other evening and I would be doing my manful best to ensure I were turning up to work rather dishevelled after an unexpected adventure.  That was like my most open opportunity for a while with the opposite sex and I just had to let it pass.

Some things are just a bit more important…karma please read this and deliver me a beautiful young lady this weekend who likes house music, hates X-Factor, and isn’t obsessive/twisted/a head-fuck.  I surely deserve it now?

Response From Tesco

My 500th blog post is to annouce a response from Tesco to my complaint about the baby sprouts – and the fact that they have offered me a refund!  62 pence.  Every little helps?

I may have to mention the fact that I often have to queue at their express store for more than 5 minutes as they only have one person serving despite several others in the store and the one person serving doesn’t bother ringing for help.

I really don’t like shopping in Tesco, but yet I still do…why…because it is 2 minutes from my door.

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Dear Ann
Thank you for your response – they only cost 62p so a refund is not necessary. I have attached a picture of said sprouts – I did not keep the bag.
The only reason I shop at Tesco is when I cannot be bothered or are too off my tits to go to my preferred supermarkets of Morrisons and Sainsbury’s, Tesco Express is 2 minutes from my door – Morrison’s and Sainsburys about 15-20 minutes.
Perhaps the quality of fruit and veg at a main Tesco store is better than the Express stores. It is certainly superior at Morrisons and Sainsbury’s – perhaps you should do a comparison on quality. I also find Tesco Express as expensive as Sainsbury’s and more so than Morrisons.
I also take amusement at the word ‘Express’ as normally it is anything but quick at the Tesco Express I use (on London Road in Reading) as there will be one person serving and 5-10 people in the queue…not all the time but more often than not. This is despite several people working in store at once. May I suggest that when a queue starts to build that the lone cashier rings for assistance rather than waiting until frustration is showing on all customer’s faces.
I hope my further feedback is of assistance.
Kind regards
James Winfield

Baby Sprouts

Dear Tesco

Baby sprouts you say?

I am not stupid.

I know that the severe winter weather caused sprouts to under-develop and therefore be tiny and crap.

Please don’t try to package them as if they are something special as they are not.  Like most of your fruit and veg, they are crap.

Kind regards
James