The Big Detox

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So as of January 1st, I started a 3 month detox.  Well, technically January 2nd once NYE has been taken into account.

Though I was quite looking forward to a detox and could tell that I needed it, I didn’t want to do a 3 month detox.  My doctor is recommending it.  Yes, despite Michael Gove’s proselytising, I have not yet had enough of experts.

A year ago I had some general tests done – I had some slightly unusual symptoms – nothing especially worrying, nothing serious or life-changing, but thought given my previous 20 years of bodily abuse, that it would do no harm to go to the doctor instead of ignoring it.  Perhaps influenced by my father having had cancer the previous year, it seemed time to overcome my pretence that everything will be always be fine…as things normally do fix themselves.

Googling had also started to make me worried that I had diabetes, kidney failure or leprosy, so it seemed the wise choice to go see the doc.

He said nothing was probably wrong but did some blood tests anyway.

Everything came back fine.  Except for my liver which was overly fatty.  He told me to cut down on alcohol, lose some weight, and go back around May for another test.

I duly cut down on alcohol and I continued to lose weight.  The liver does repair itself if you give it chance.

Then summer happened.  And I found myself working in the centre of London with temptation everywhere.  I slowly put on 12kg, becoming the heaviest I have ever been – and drank a lot.  A hell of a lot sometimes.

So I had a month long near-detox in September, and went back for those tests, thinking everything would be clear.

No, my liver was slightly worse.  Though this doctor was easier to understand, and much clearer on what I should do.

I could ignore it, but the chances are that I would develop problems with my liver if I continued my lifestyle without giving my liver chance to fully recover.

So the options were 4-6 months with only 1 or 2 beers a week.  Or 3 months without.  Apparently the liver needs this long to repair damage – my annual month off is barely scratching the surface.

Fuck teasing myself with 1 beer a week, especially when the sun comes out in spring.  I’d rather go without.

I asked if there was anything else that I should avoid – energy drinks, perhaps?  Apparently they are fine, but he recommended that I avoid or reduce red meat if possible – though he did say he wouldn’t expect it as it isn’t a perfect world.  Which means cutting out beef, lamb, pork, pork chops, pork belly, bacon, ham, chorizo…you get it.  Sigh.  I’ve decided to cut out most red meat – once a week at most, ideally once a fortnight if I can.

So.  Three months of no alcohol, and only having red meat once a fortnight.

And that includes my birthday.  Yikes.

I’m cutting out caffeine too.  And cakes – maybe one a week at most.

Might have to keep chocolate in the mix though.

Roll on April 2nd.

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