I have long thought that I would be one of those rare people that vastly changes the world for the better – someone like Edison, Einstein or Oakenfold.
And finally I can announce my cure for famine.
A product which can feed so many people so cheaply that even I can buy a packet in a reasonably upmarket supermarket for just 37 pence.
Just one packet I estimate could keep someone nutritionally fed for a week.
Yes, I present to you my very exciting cure for famine:
I look forward to my Nobel nomination and subsequent prize.