I’m pretty sure I have these thoughts every year, or I have done for the last two years anyway, and they are resurfacing once more. In fact, I first had them in 2006, but then met the most fantastic group of friends I have ever known, had the time of my life for a few years but then things went not so good and these thoughts re-appeared.
The thoughts being – should I go elsewhere?
It isn’t exactly as if I haven’t done it before. I left Hull in 1998 to come to Reading, for university. I didn’t regret it for a second. I have seen other people leave and enjoy life.
I do enjoy life, but I am not getting what I want out of it, especially in terms of my career, and also living situation – I don’t like living on my own. I don’t see either of them improving in the short term if I stay in Reading. And also the night-life is crap around here, which being a connoisseur of underground house and techno, is not especially inviting. The only thing I am really getting enjoyment out at the moment, is going out partying, which I am very good at. And is ensuring a generally positive outlook. But I don’t think this is sustainable.
So the question is, is it time to go elsewhere?
These things take planning, of course, and I would need a little bit of money behind me. And preferably a job to go into.
I hope I am not appearing too negative here, as it is not a negative thought, it is me trying to work out how to get the best out of life. Maybe I just need a little re-assurance – after all, I seem to have these thoughts every year, normally it is in spring/early summer too. And every time I seem to conclude that I should stay in Reading. A life coach would probably tell me it is the lack of goals in my life.
But I do have goals that I am considering setting myself…I am just becoming increasingly unconvinced that I am not going to achieve them whilst living in Reading.
Maybe it boils down to spending most of my life on my own – I am very much a people person in that I really appreciate the company and thoughts of people around me, and it seems that I spend so much of my time on my own – at work (I possibly work in the most silent office in the world), going to work (then again do I want to talk to anyone else on the bus?), living on my own, and often struggling to find people to do things with that I really enjoy. Very easy to find someone to go for a beer…or five though.
However, I do appreciate myself, I do quite like myself, I may not be perfect but I am quite happy in my own company. I just prefer to be interacting with others.
So please forgive me if I spend the next few weeks, wondering where I am going in life. Maybe I need a big change. Maybe I need a slight re-alignment. Maybe I just need a little re-assurance, a bit of appreciation, and a bit more love. I don’t know.
If you have any thoughts to add to the melting pot in my brain, feel free to add to them.
Given the title name of ‘Time To Go Elsewhere?’, I should use this opportunity to plug an event that a good friend of mine is organising in Reading on Sunday May 1st, called Elsewhere. And another good friend is DJing at. I am hoping that this might bring a spark to the underground house/techno scene in Reading – and it is free entry. And I reckon it will be good weather that day. And I know it will be good music.
And it won’t be long until I get chance to go elsewhere, when I go to Hull for Easter holidays on Thursday evening. That normally reminds me of why I live in Reading! As much as I love seeing my family, and I do miss the good parts of the north dearly – though there are many things of the north that are not so appealing! Such as the lack of opportunities and much higher crime rates. And distance from London. Or Europe. Or Reading?