I have a long-standing dream of taking all of my friends for a weekend in Hull, if only to remind them of how good they have it living in and around Reading.
But there are actually a couple of things in Hull which attract visitors, apart from a large amount of people willing to engage in violence and the possibility of getting a pint for less than £1.50.
Firstly, The Deep, the world’s only submarium. Yes, I appreciate that there is no entry in either Wikipedia or http://www.dictionary.com/ for such a thing, but this doesn’t stop the linguistically challenged of ‘Ull from using such vobabulary. It’s even won a gold award this year. The first thing from Hull since a fish and chip shop back in 1978 to win any kind of award.
Secondly, Hull City, the fantastic football club that I support, are going to open a museum. One item is the Arrow Air Anglo-American Cup that we won in 1984. Yes, we won a trophy once.
Next, tourism bosses have been to Paris to try to to persuade them to run part of the Tour De France in Hull in 2016. Apparently two billion people will then see Hull. Do two billion people seriously watch the Tour De France? And what kind of deluded folk in Hull really think the French would ever risk their cyclists go through the council estates of Hull?
According to the Lonely Planet guide to Great Britain, Hull has has an uncompromising and rowdy nightlife, and is rather tough. Anyone up for a night out there? I believe that you can still buy a vodka and orange for 40p in one nightclub, Spiders. Though last time I bought a vodka and orange in an establishment in Hull, I was given undiluted orange cordial. Lovely. The Daily Sport once voted Tower Nightclub the easiest place to pull in the UK. I’m not sure if it is still open though. It was certainly the best place to find 50-year old woman in very short skirts.
And if you like Hull so much after your visit, why don’t you buy a house there? One recently has become available in Victoria Villas for just £7,500.00.
So – who is up for the road-trip?