What goes up, must come down – this time last week I was full of joy, but today I am destinctly not.
The chaos that a blocked kitchen sink brings to life is not helpful, nor am I particularly appreciative of being back at work, or the fact that it is Monday.
But what lurks at the back of my mind is that society is reminding me of my failure to find love.
I have always despised Valentine’s Day. I would probably despise it more if I were in a relationship though, with the expectations of gifts, treats, surprises, etc.
Though I have to say Halloween, a celebration of the scary which encourages the idea of begging to children, is a celebration I have come to despise more.
Perhaps this is because I have come to accept in recent years that being single actually isn’t a bad thing – I did use to hope to find love but I have concluded that this is not a goal I should set myself as it is not something easily possible to achieve.
I have learnt to love myself, for all my faults (minor, of course!) and as such am just really not that bothered any more about finding the love thing.
I can achieve happiness in many other ways and don’t need this difficult and seemingly impossible idea to come true to be happy.
Society seems set to try to upset me today with pointing out that everything is apparently better in a couple.
I appreciate that there is a sound economic argument for sharing rent and bills, and also perhaps love could replace a little of the partying, but I am reasonably happy as I am and do no longer feel the need to try to meet this particular societal expectation.
However, I still don’t like 14th February and I would rather it didn’t exist.
On the positive side, I have found out that Ricardo Villalobos is playing fabric on 12th March – however, whether I will find anyone to come with me to see him is another matter. My heart might end up being broken. Or maybe I will just go by myself – after all, I am getting quite happy being on my own!
Please allow me to be miserable today, as a perenially single person, I am supposed to be miserable today, that is what Valentine’s Day is all about.
I shall endeavour to have something more positive to say tomorrow.
Lots of…actually, save the love thing for another time.