That’s it. I’ve had enough.
Until the last week or so, it seemed like every day I have either got drunk or been hungover.
Since March, I have put on nearly 12kg of weight. I am the fattest that I have ever been. I feel unhealthy, I am unfit, my productivity is lower than it should be – though I have had fuckloads of fun in recent months.
There is only one reason I put on weight, and that is alcohol. If I have more than two beers, I crave shit food. And then the next day, I crave shit food too. Both days I will consume around 4,000 to 6,000 calories.
Alternatively, if I don’t drink and don’t have a hangover, then I consume between 1,500 and 2,000 calories.
Every detox month I have, I lose 3kg or so. When I started writing this, I was 96.6kg. I want to be 80kg.
There is only one solution if I want to be rid of my belly. Give up booze. No booze until no belly.
There will be people out there who will just suggest moderation, or more exercise. But I am not very good at moderating my alcohol intake – and there is zero chance of me doing two sit-ups on a hangover, no matter how good for me it might be. Generally I am not a semi-committed person. Either I am fully committed, or I am not committed – or something close to full/none. There is no halfway.
And I’m not going to pretend that I’ll do much in the way of exercise. But I’ll try and do some – it even got to the point recently where I barely did any walking, let alone anything strenuous. I’d kind of like to do some kind of sport but I’m shit at most sports, don’t like physical contact (of the sporting variety) and as per my usual issue, I struggle to find the time and motivation.
Alcohol or related expenditure (ie bacon sandwiches the day after) consumes a vast quantity of my spare money. I am not rich. I earn enough to have no problems, but almost all of my spare money goes on having fun, drinking, and eating out.
But I am finding an increasing need for spending elsewhere; I need new jeans as two pairs have recently developed a hole in their respective bum areas, I need a new winter coat as my old ones are tired and starting to fall apart. I need a summer jacket and shorts, in the upcoming sales, ready for next summer. I need some new pillows, as I stupidly left mine in Bracknell, and have been using my landlady’s substandard pillows.
I want some new bits for the kitchen, I want a speaker system for outside, I want a fucking Dyson as this round blob thing of my landlady’s is rubbish. I want some lids for my technics…I want more vinyl! And I need this sequin rucksack – it is me, isn’t it?
I want/need a holiday. I am actually going to book one as long as I can save up £200 this month – I am on a pretty strict budget. As long as I don’t go out and get drunk, I can afford it. In fact, I want at least two more trips away this year.
I also want to spend more time coding, I want to enhance my skills so that I might either get a pay rise next year, or be able to get one or two paid projects. I also want to get back into cooking properly – I rarely have the time or energy to cook properly in an evening now, yet I appreciate it so much when I do. Likewise, I want to spend more time practising DJing – again thwarted by the depletion of my time and energy resources.
I’m sure I’ll crack at some point. I will probably allow myself a beer or two when I achieve some weight reduction goals.
And holidays are obviously exempt, from the moment I get through security at the airport.
See you later, beer. Hello carrot juice.